May complicate pregnancy-- jeer 2:40AM EST

I want to give out thanks to the people /* Eric, BigDaddySparky and Whacko */ who responded to my query about heatsinks and shims. There was some confusion so here's some poor quality bestiality pics to clarify things.

There's also some pics of my case mod so far.

silly narc, kicks are for kids-- fenomas 9:24AM JST

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Customizeable shoes? The answer is, fuck yeah, customizeable shoes. You pick the colors, design, and logo, or leave out the logo altogether (fuck nike). I'd order me some sk8s if I had a creditcard. Check the glowing review.

Wednesday, August 30, 2000

A love note for you Yankee BASTARDS-- fenomas 2:56PM JST

What the hell are you doing? You live in North America, right? So why are you sitting there reading a web page? Go out and buy Tenchu 2: The Birth of Assassins. If you never tried Tenchu 1, you missed out huge. If you played Tenchu 1 and liked it, Tenchu2 is getting even better reviews. If you tried Tenchu 1 and didn't like it, then you're a putz.

P.S. Not on sale yet in Japan, for some odd reason. So as you play it you can think of me, broken-hearted and alone, except for my SHINY NEW PLAYSTATION 2!

Use a hamster wheel-- eod 11:20PM PST

In portland, shooting heroin is not just an addiction, it's a hip trend. Last night Sara, some friends and I went to the Roxy in portland's hip Vaseline alley, where young gutter punks scoring heroin and male-to-male couples, or what sometimes looks like a male in women's clothing ran amuck. Our goal? To score some food at 1:30am at the Roxy. We sit down and have a good laugh at the comical menu item names, 'soylent green omelet', 'Raver's Delight', etc. The place is packed full of goths, gutterpunks, ravers and some unidentifiables. Half expecting Azreal abyss from SNL goth talk to walk in, I overhear a group of girls who look like they are fresh from the Ambercrombie and Fitchstore

Girl1: See I have tracks all up this arm, here and here.
Girl2: Those are nice, I keep mine up so my parents don't see it
Girl3: Oh ya? Look at this track mark, its solid.
Girl2: Wow that sure is purple
Girl1: Did you see this arm
Girl3: Like oh my gosh, thats soo cool

Damn it!-- jeer 6:23PM PST

I love those little details you always over look. I ordered everything I could ever possibly need. more than enough fans, tons of Y split power cables, extra IDE ribbons, everything! Except for one critical piece of equipment. I forgot about the connection between my Duron and my heatsink. I'm missing a spacer. So I have two choices. Run the risk of burning out my chip or even more painful, waiting for my copper shim to arrive.

So I ask of you, the lovely and talented PenIs readers, how insane is it to run my chip with little to no protection for a day or two? I figure I could put one of the many 120mm fans I have directly over the chip, remove the panels and underclock from 600 to about 300.

I've called every computer shop within a 40 mile radius looking for a socket A spacer. They actually told me I don't need a spacer!? I should just pour a gallon of thermal compound on the chip and place my heatsink on top of the mountain of sludge. Jesus, I hate living in the sticks. Going on that logic I don't even really need fans. I can just blow into the case with a straw. Power supply? Use a hamster in a wheel.

Anyway if anyone can give me some guidance in the matter, please do. E mail me or join #penismightier on efnet. Here's some base specs:

AMD Duron 600mhz (Socket A)
Abit KT7 mobo
And tons of sunon 120mm fans (114 cfm)

I hope I never loose sight of whats important in life... My giant cock..-- eod 11:20PM PST

Customer: Let me tell you the setup. I got a bunch of computers here. I called in about the 'first' computer and someone fixed it for me.
Me: Great, how can I help you then.
Customer: well when I turn on my second computer all my hardware is in conflict. It didn't happen before I called in..
Me: And we did this.. how?
Customer: Look.. Look at my screen! See the hardware conflict?
Me: Sir I'm not there, I can only hear you.. Sir did the tech tell you to do anything on your second computer?
Customer: Not at all. Infact I kept talking about the second computer and he asked me to just turn it off
Me: Ok so, your second computer was turned off, and we connected to it and...?
Customer: and ya hacked it.. thats what ya did... Now I wanna know what your gonna do to fix it
Me: Umm, nothing... There is no way we could connect to your computer when it is off. and if it was on, there would be very limited things we could do on your computer
Customer: I bet you pinged it! You guys probably even port scanned it!
Me: To have anything be effective your computer would have to be turned on, plus it wouldn't damage your computer
Customer: Don't lie to me kid, I have my MCSE and you guys will hear from my lawyers! *CLICK*

Is it me or is the MCSE test getting easier?

Results..-- eod 10:50PM PST

I'm calling the contest to an end. According to the polls Zippy is the least hated at 14%, with lon following at 21% and puzzling at 31%. 32% liked them all. Zippy comes out on top here, which means he is now ranked up to a poster. Lon and Puzz are some wicked fellows and thats why they were choosen. Lon and Puzz you guys rock but the mob spoke, how about you guys drink the beer at the Pen party's and moderate the messageboard, oh wait, you already do. With the new design we are planning some expansion, we may be branching out which will include some of our reserves.

Speaking of the Pen n' Party, we had our 4th PenIs party which Puzzling and Lon Mabon attended which was the biggest turn out 35 people in our cramped 2 bedroom apartment.

FIRST POST!!!! -- Zippy 9:00 PM EST

Well, it's finally happened. Today... I turn 20. Two whole decades bumming around on this planet, staring at underaged chicks and having fun doing it

My eyesight is a tad worse, my joints hurt just a bit more, and my sex drive has diminished ever so slighty.... truly I am no longer a teenager. Well, just one more year to go until I can head south of the border and get pissy faced with my American friends, eh?

Since I can, I am going to use my new found official status at the front ranks of the PeNiS army to request that any birthday presents ( example 1, example 2, example 3 ) be sent to Yours Truly, along with any words of encouragement you might wish to offer. Specifically, I would love to see something by Lauren, Camilla, Suzyfromflorida, or even Violet.

As well, now that I can get on these freakin' servers myself, I can finally put up all those goodies I've been meaning to share with you. Call in the plumbers, because the Crapper is about to overflow

Rubbing cocobutter all up on my muthaboard-- eod 5:25PM PST

I've been geeking out lately, working on my box and network. Purchased a stick of Micron 128 meg pc-133, and a duron 600mhz which will be overclocked soon as I mod my case like this, this or even like this. While researching cooling solutions I've discovered the fine art of case modding and the community that follows with it. Much like the community of hotrodding cars, cooling and hotrodding cases appears to be getting very popular. Some people are all looks, much like show cars, and some people prefer ugly brute beasts. I think I'll try to adopt a bit of both for my case.

Weis also caught the case modding bug and imagine would love to show off hismobile quake lan party box

Monday, August 28, 2000

I got yer root right here bitch. -- jeer 5:04AM EST

Among how-tos, articles, hardware and software reviews tech-junkie.com goes a step further. They do things most of us have only dreamed about doing to computer hardware.

Not since Temple of the Lemur's beer-overclock solution have I been this amused by hardware, unless you count that $140.00 USB floppy drive... or iMacs... SMC products... well anyway head over to tech-junkie.com.

Oh, can we shut up about poor, poor stile now? Jesus fucking Christ.

Sunday, August 27, 2000

I am now, by definition, cooler than you. -- fenomas 10:43AM JST

Okay, my last three posts have gotten nuked-- by inobservant posters, not to name names -- but suffice to say that I have moved into my new apartment and spent about seven thousand dollars on rent, deposits, curtains, a 25" TV, washing machine (that sprayed water on my living room floor yesterday), etc.

However, the important thing to this forum is that I also blew about four hundred on a PlayStation2. Now, I could write a full review and answer questions and so on, but for now here is my impression.

(1) If you are going to get a PS2, then a 25 inch TV will not be a wasted investment, especially seeing as it will cost probably half what the PS2 does.

(2) The PS2 will handle all PS games, but the quality will not necessarily be that much better. I've heard that new PS games can be made to take advantage of the PS2, but most of the games you already own will look more or less the same. However- there is an option to turn on "smooth texture mapping" which appears to simply antialias the textures, and greatly decreses jagginess. My testing was carried out on Metal Gear Solid, and my impression was good.

(3) The DVD interface is fine, no complaints. Incidentally, I managed to get the old model (version 1.00 SCPH 10000), which as you may have heard does not include the proper DVD region coding information. Although it came with the newer DVD drivers (Utility disc 1.01), if I can find the older driver (1.00) and burn it on a CD, I should be able to play any DVD. (c.f. fuckthempaa)

However, I hear that the American PS2, when released, will have DVD coding hardwired instead of storing the DVD drivers on a memory card as the Japanese one does. So, you Americans will have to either wait for a mod chip or wait until the MPAA loses their lawsuit and the use linux.

bla-bla makes fucked--cyd@11:57 am pst

hmmm. bla-bla made it onto fucked company. maybe we should start looking in on other hosting options. maybe stile should start up a hosting company. well, whatever happens, i hope i can at least ftp in to whoever hosts us, bla-bla or not.

Maybe you'd drive better with my finger up your ass, massaging your prostate.. (or is that cellphone??)-- eod 1:25AM PST

See people look at the fun your missing on the PenIs chat channel. Need more info on it? Use the java chat or sign in on your own irc client on efnet.

So I'm sitting here listening to Ween while contemplating the horrors of my coming evening. Seems that my older cousin has set up a pub crawl that includes most of my extended family, including my grandmother.

It's not that I don't love granny, the trepidation I feel is from knowing that while she hasn't seen me in months, she has known about my impending separation from my wife. She loves my wife. She is indifferent about me. More importantly, all those years of guilt my mother gave me came from the well-spring of loathing that is my grandmother. ARRRGH!! If I survive unscarred, I'll let you know. Since the kids will be gone for the night, I might be able to escape after an hour or so of quality family time and leave my future-ex in their clutches. Wish me luck.

I do have one thing going for me, I hope. Seems one of my second cousins started the rumor that me and my future-ex were splitting up because I was coming out of the closet. I figure if I wear my Pink Flamingo Bingo tee-shirt and smoke clove cigarettes while drinking girl drinks and playing Frankie goes to Hollywood on the jukebox that her 78 year old catholic ticker will explode, even if I don't talk with a lisp and get extravagant with my hand motions. I will probably be disowned from the rest of the family, but it's a price I will gladly pay if the looks on their faces are what I expect. Hell, thinking about it now, this could be fun.

On the bright side, I should get tons of free drinks. The one nice thing about family drink-a-thons is that one of the previous generation normally picks up the tab. Now I gotta surf to find some appropriately fairy drink. I suppose I could just stick to Jagermeister and bond with my younger cousin. He normally has good herb at least.

Random #penismightier (efnet)-- jeer 3:39AM EST

<libra2277> did you pee yet
<jeer> however...neither is noticable
<jeer> nope
<libra2277> pee
<jeer> im waiting untill it starts dribbling out
<jeer> then i'll have enough pressure to get it out the window without getting up
<jeer>I need a houseplant.

<jeer> IT'S NOT A BUG. IT'S A FEATURE
<jeer> crono cross is coming!!!
<jeer> sequel to crono trigger....
<eod> yeah
<eod> looks fun
<eod> but when it comes out I'll still be on this call
<jeer> i loved crono trigger
<eod> Ethnic Link Adapter"
<eod> love how people read
<jeer> lol
<jeer> if only we had those
<jeer> KKK now with internal ethnic link adapter!
<Phobic> *click* Now you can babble your gibberish into this plug, sir, and I'll understand perfectly
<eod> This fucking guy

<Xantharax> New Hampshire, Anti-jeer central
<jeer> lol
<Xantharax> lol?
<jeer> Now I know where to point my shock troopers
<Xantharax> Fuck you, I like it up here. No weird crackheads who rape children
* Xantharax looks directly at jeer
<jeer> lol
<jeer> HEY!
<jeer> She said she was 17!
<Xantharax> MUHAHAHAHHAHA!

<jeer> Hey tff, do you remember that one chick I wanted? mentioned her and linked her blog?
<eod> what should I do with this video of a guy fucking a pig
<eod> trash or post it?
<jeer> there's a diff between the two?
<TFF> ... um ... the girl who got rid of her old domain name? yeah.
<TFF> girltext ...
<jeer> * then the masses circles around jeer*
<TFF> she linked me I recall. nice girl.
<jeer> yeah, what happened to her?
<TFF> I dunno.
<jeer> I applied to be her boy friend
<jeer> WTF!
<jeer> I DIDN'T WIN?
<jeer> That's insane!

<Xantharax> never works
<Xantharax> jeer had it
<jeer> becuase it's all put together with scotch tape
<Josh1> i have it... no problems at all..
<jeer> ...yer a shmuck josh
<Xantharax> hehe

<josh2000> I will not shutdown
<Xantharax> hehe good
<josh2000> not sure
<josh2000> resistance is futile
<TFF> I need copies of Ah! My Goddess.
<jeer> You will be laminated

<Joosus> i dont want religious figures in my porn
<Joosus> just Jesus

OK, here's my two cents on the Stile vs. bla-bla controversy. I just got finished reading the chatlog in which Bla told Stile to take a hike, and frankly, I don't see what the argument is about. Shit, Jay: for eight months, you've run this goofy little webpage, and you've never tried to hide the fact that you were trying to make money off of it. Now, you made a quarter million bucks off it. Congrats. You win, get it? Quit whining and go buy a Ferarri. If bla-bla owes you some cash, well, that's why we have a judicial system. And let me just add that you won't be alone: I've seen alot of good websites start to suck right after the webmaster made a shitload of cash, and most of those guys sued their hosting providers, too.

Friday, August 25, 2000

You know, I heard a funny joke the other day. Here it is: My back fucking hurts! Oh my God does it hurt! What did I do, God, why am I being tortured? Holy fucking Christ, will someone kill me and take away the pain? Forget about the joke, please kill me!

Yes, that's the sort of post you could expect from me after six days of unending, unchanging pain, were it not for the modern miracle of Drugs. Yes, Drugs are our friends. Drugs are wonderful inventions that come in small, orange containers with white child-proof caps. They have little labels on the sides, with funny-sounding words, like "Ibuprofen" and "Flexeril" and "Vicadin", and they make the pain all far-off and dreamlike. So before I get rolling, let's just all give a big cheer for Drugs. Hooray for Drugs!

By way of explanation: sometime during the night last Friday, some portion of my spine decided that it would be a peachy keen idea to start abrading my sciatic nerve. Since then, I have discovered that there are exactly two (2) bodily positions I can adopt without extreme pain: Standing up, and lying down on my stomach. Not sitting, not leaning, not reclining, and most certainly not lying on my back. "But weis" you may ask, "what happens if you fall asleep on your stomach, and then roll over in your sleep?" Good question. I wake up whimpering in pain, that's what. I've seen a bunch of doctors, they don't seem to know what to do about it, and they don't seem to have any plans of slicing me open before the weekend. Sucks to be me. Well, I shouldn't be so negative. On the plus side, this injury has given me the opportunity to experience many new things. For instance, I got an MRI yesterday. And the day before that, the total number of Medical Doctors who've stuck their finger in my asshole skyrocketed. From zero to one. And incidentally, now that I think of it, her explanation for why she had to stick her finger in my ass was pretty shaky.

There's more I'd like to comment on, if I could type comfortably; for instance, that whole Stileproject up-fuck. But for now, I think just for a lark, I'll go lie face-down on my bed. Again.

Cameltosis-- jeer 12:06AM EST

Lets talk for a moment about two types of female acquaintances. Lets talk about girl friends and lets talk about prostitutes and the subtle differences between the two.

A prostitute is one who solicits and accepts payment for sex acts.
A girl friend is one who accepts payment for sex acts but wants to talk afterward.

So what's the major difference between the two besides the inconvenience oh having to pretend you give a damn about who said what at work today?

Well a conventional relationship is infinitely more expensive than that of a whore. Not just on an economic plain either. Lets be honest, sure in the first few weeks a male will hang on every word his girl spouts out but after a few weeks the novelty fades and then it's just an empty can incessantly rattling. But lets get back to the tangible.

A conservative price comparison
Prostitute equal to: A large meal at Denny's
Girlfriend equal to: Yearly budget for NASA space research and development.

They say you can't buy love, well apparently you can. Men are swine, sure, but all women charge for sex in one way or another. Most men could have bought a small house with the money they've put into various relationships.
In the end, you know you are going to get to bump uglies with a whore. The only guarantee you have with a normal woman, lots of headaches, both yours and "hers".

 

Thursday, August 24, 2000

The uncanny adventures of Stile and Blabla-- eod 11:23AM PST

I've been awake a total of 5 mins here, so please excuse my slumbing rant. I've recieved about 45 emails in the past 24 hours from bla-bla members all freaking out and talking revolt. (Everything from DoS attacks on bla-bla to staging a mass move over to another hosting website) How did it start? Well it's been a combination of a lot of things that various websites hosted on bla-bla have delt with( late payments or non payments), but the straw that broke this camels back was stileproject.

If you didn't know Stile was shutdown by bla-bla a couple days ago. The offical reason? Hell read the offical bla-bla press release here.

Before bla-bla released any information, I had a chance to talk with Stile last night on irc. He expressed a different outlook, he seemed appauled that this company would dare try to shutdown stileproject, reason he gave for them shutting down his site? pr0n. Which yes he does have a lot of porn and the contract does mention something about running a porn site, but its a pretty fine line between what is porn and what is shock material. Someone sent out a mass email about rounding up a large group of people to leave bla-bla and advising those people to contact some lawyers, which stile replied to the whole list telling his story. This has caused all the other bla-bla webmasters to begin to freak out, either in support of Stile, support of porn or just general hatred towards blabla. What does this webmaster plan to do? Nothing, I'm gonna try to stay out of this as much as possible, I don't care about the money, really I could care less if bla-bla sends the checks or not (We recieved just 1 for $30). I run this website because I enjoy it, I enjoy talking to all the readers, I enjoy ranting and writing...I just want telnet or solid ftp access to the servers.. ;) Seriously, read the blabla release about stile, makes for some interesting drama. This could be Stile Koffman's last big bash, or maybe its just his beginning..

epiphany--cyd@9:57 am pst

locally politically speaking, much as living in a state which allows any constituents therein (even one's who can't retain a domain name) to propose a state ballot measure, and given enough votes, accepts the ballot bid sounds great at first; consider how measure 91 - Amends Constitution: Makes Federal Income Taxes Fully Deductible On Oregon Tax Returns, measure 93 - AMENDS CONSTITUTION: VOTERS MUST APPROVE MOST TAXES, FEES; REQUIRES CERTAIN APPROVAL PERCENTAGE, and measure 8 - Amends Constitution: Limits State Appropriations To Percentage Of State's Prior Personal Income also sound good at first, especially in title, but when one reads the actual text, the shortsighted, corporate-friendly stench of voodoo economics comes wafting through.

grrr--cyd@9:56 am pst

i've been trying to post for days, but damn it's hard to ftp into bla-bla; especially when i've been working 16.5 hour days since sunday and only have a couple mere hours to try to ftp in. you may have seen stile bitching about bla-bla lately, too. i don't know what the deal is, but i hope they resolve it soon, so we can get back to our usual penis style.

Tuesday, August 22, 2000

Fishing poll in my cats ass-- eod 2:23AM PST

Me:Click dns configuration
CustomerClick cancel?
Me:Click dns configuration
CustomerClick cancel?
Me:Click D-N-S CONFIGURATION
Customerwait wait.. Cancel?
Me:No click dns configuration
CustomerHrmmm don't got any
Me:Click dns configuration
Customerhuh so you want me to click cancel right?
Me:yeah fine whatever.. Click cancel
CustomerOk so you don't want me to check dns configuration?

BTW people, I might not be as helpful when you aim me or irc me looking for tech support. I'm off duty and unless you plan on paying me for helping you don't expect any spectacular help

Dreaming of the dreamcast-- eod 1:23AM PST

I've been evaluating the the dreamcast these past few days, and the games are amusing but not worth the money. Unless someone emails me and can convince me otherwise, I'm definately going to hold out for the Playstation II. Which I hope Fen will pick up soon so we can have an exculsive review from japan before it hits the states.

In other news, I have yet to purchase my I-Opener, but I did get an email offer for one, I plan to furhter investigate.

Evolution is no longer on a cellular level. It's measured in bits and byte mes-- jeer 1:03 AM EST
Maybe I'm living in a fantasy world but I believe you shouldn't have to sell your ass/soul.

I don't know if anyone remembers when I convinced a bla-bla rep I was a prostitute's neglected child but I think I've always been one of bla-bla's biggest detractors. They're setting an ugly precedent. Must See TV Stile. I think the idea of NBC, ABC, FOX-esque networks on the net is a paramount mistake but that's greed. That's the world now.

It was painful to swallowed the idea of PenIs going with bla-bla. Fine, not my site, not my say. Don't get me wrong, I love EOD, not in platonic friend kind of way but in a cooking oil drenched homo-erotic way. But I digress.

OK, I can accept this bla-bla shit. I'm not one of those retarded indie kids. ( Whom are no different than they're bullshit commercial Gap counterparts ) It's a free server space and a little free publicity.

But fuck, now this Stile Top 100 shit? What the fuck is this? I hate Stile, this much we know. Not just because he's just a cheap rip off of every other shock personality but mainly for his whiner bullshit. He victimizes himself constantly. This is beyond the point though.

Also...

I found this shortly after writting this little bitch and almost cried like a little school girl.

"Penismightier is still one of the finest websites in this virtual universe. They are the perfect proof that there's a world outside The Stile Project. Penis is absolutely independent from the e/n world, they don't care, they just do their shit. I love eod's technical calls and his crazy posts, the weird stories by Weishaupt, and I have become addicted to Cyd's epiphanies. They have new posters, some people of the now dead furth3r, so go and check it."

-The Vulgus Filter

They're were other people on furth3r!? Why didn't anyone ever tell me? =)

Monday, August 21, 2000

What we need here is some giant cock-- eod 2:23PM PSTI think you know what to do. If not for PenIs, then do it for the Nuts.

Java Applet Chat-- eod 1:46PM PST

I'll second that Fen, doing any sort of update to the website with bla-bla's ftp is pretty bad. I have been playing around with the new chat room and I added a java chat client here as well as a link above. See look above, you see it? Good, use it, if it is giving you any trouble just email me.

Sunday, August 20, 2000

the olympics suck -- fenomas 9:38AM JST

Hey, looks like I finally made it into bla-bla's servers. Jeezus, making a post these days is like trying to hack eod's kitchen. er.

Anyway, I have two things to share. First, I officially moved into my new apartment. I no longer live in a big dorm-style "gaijin house," I have my own little rock-on room. I would also like to report that in addition to the One Thousand and Fifty Dollars I will be paying in rent each month, I have spent something over a thousand dollars so far on "stuff." This past weekend I bought a 25" TV, as well as a washing machine, microwave, shelves, a TV rack, etc, etc, etc. My "stuff" total will be shooting up shortly when I find a fridge, to say nothing of the soon-to-be-bought Playstation 2, which I consider to be a bargain since it will in theory keep me busy for some time so I don't have to buy a new computer.

Second: Have you ever wished that there was a program that acted like a local proxy, filtering and preprocessing incoming and outgoing HTTP requests and allowing unwanted information (referrer, platform, etc) and content (ads, popups, javascript, etc) to be stripped away before they reach your browser? If you understood that sentence, you almost certainly need Proxomitron. (Yeah, I know it's on tripod, but if you're using the program you won't see any ads.)

It's not simple enough for a child, but it is powerful. Want your browser to ignore any request to doubleclick and flycast? Get Proxomitron.

John Coffey like the drink mam, except spelt different-- eod 2:25PM PST

Went out to a bar tonight with a few friends, am I drunk? Yes I drunk. After the 5th pitcher of beer, I had to piss and I noticed a curious urinal biscuit sign, which read "Say No To Drugs". Well a little late for that, I had just drunk myself into a stooper, and now they tell me to say no to drugs. Funny enough that the urinal "say no to drugs" splashguard was covered with beer infested urine and cigarette butts. Might be time for a sign relocation..

I had to post the above part later today cause I was way to drunk to figure out how to ftp the file up. Ended up waking up on the floor in the living room at 6:30am, I'm assuming I passed out there, checked around me, no vomit, hey batting 1.000!!

More importantly, the reason I was making this post was to inform everyone of the PenIs irc chatroom on efnet. Join #penismightier on efnet and well have fun.

So in summation, I was drunk last and you should join the #penismightier chat on efnet.

Saturday, August 19, 2000

A new reason for going to the local pub-- Puzzling 11:32AM

Free smokes. Ever since the big settlements against the tobacco giants, they have had to resort to new and unusual means of marketing their cancer sticks. Now, I wouldn't suggest smoking for anyone who doesn't already, but if you do, head down to one of the local watering holes and find out if they are supported by one of the big boys. If they are, and you aren't too particular, you may end up with free packs of cigarettes for simply signing your name and showing your I.D. when the local tobacco reps are there. I personally prefer the brand that was ranked number two in popularity in 1990, but I have seen give-aways from a couple of other brands in a few of the bars near where I live. In SE PDX, they give out Winstons at the Jolly Roger on 12th between Hawthorne and Belmont, and they give out Camels at the Belmont Inn (Belmont and 34th.) When I got my preference earlier this week, I got a free CD case with four packs. I now have several CD cases, and haven't paid for smokes for over a week. If you don't smoke, get them anyway, if only to give to friends to smoke. If you don't smoke and are really uptight, ask the local reps how they feel about whoring for a company who is knowingly giving away cancer. The response will likely be interesting, to say the least.

Personally, I hate being a smoker. I hate smoking cigarettes far more than any of my other vices. I plan on quitting quitting on October 17th (my son's eleventh birthday.) I have slowed down considerably from the equivalent of three packs of filterless high-tar smokes I used to do (roll-yer-own over a pouch a day of Jester) to the pack and a half of filters I do now. After that, I may quit some of my other vices as well. Don't worry though, I probably will never quit my habit of e-porn. I might chill out on herb seeing as I haven't seen any in months anyways, and I will probably slow down on my drinking of alcohol alchohol once I move out on my own. Masturbation might be harder to quit though

Kirk Cameron's Groining Pains-- eod 1:25AM PST

I almost bought a dreamcast today for $160 plus 4 games and some change but I decided that my $160 would be better focused upon an i-opener instead. Though the dreamcast is being stored at my residence on a trial basis, so we'll see how I like it. I think I'll hold out til october for the Playstation 2.

I came home from work and was reminded later on just what being kicked in the nuts feels like. Thanks to some vodka and me becoming a bit unruly, I thought it'd be a good idea if I started to freak out and try to pummel sara. I guess I should freak out when I'm wearing a cup.

Saturday, August 19, 2000

Violet.. more.. A Retrospective --Zippy @2:21AM

I couldn't hold out on you. I just had to share the wealth and screw the consequences. *ahem*

And kiddies... don't forget to drop Violet a line and tell her what you think of her... umm.. modeling.

Friday, August 18, 2000

Small changes to the right bar-- eod 2:01PM PST

Here is some advice.. When you decide to order a pizza, do it before you get drunk because you'll make a stupid decision like 'BBQ Chicken pizza' which has to be the fowlest (rim shot) thing ever. Seriously, replacing the tomato sauce with BBQ sauce is not a good idea.

Things to do when you're tripping in Portland.-- Puzzling 11:32PM

One of the perks of living in SE PDX is that you get to see people tripping in public every once in a while. This is most obvious around the monkey puzzle tree down the street, where you can see young hippies laugh for about half an hour during the wee hours, but every once in a while you can actually get into some interesting situations just walking home. Take this situation for example (names changed to protect the not-so-innocent):

Last night, on my way back home from yet another bender, I got off the bus and walked 20 feet toward home when a fairly attractive female said "Hi." I said "Hi" back. She stopped walking and looked at me worriedly, so I stopped.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"Home," I said. "Where are you going?"

"Jessica's house" "Where's that?" "By the park."

By this time I was pretty confident that this woman was not completely within her comfort zone, and it had little to do with chatting with a big hairy drunk freak near a busy street.

"Do you need help getting there?" "I dunno..." "Do you know where you are?" "Not really..." "Do you want to go home?" "Yeah..." "Do you need help getting there?" "Yeah..."

To cut what is becoming a long story short, it took me over an hour to walk this rather confused but fairly spontaneous female home three blocks. In the process, she took a run through the local parks sprinkler system, hugged me twice (soaking wet, getting me pretty wet as well,) stopped every three feet to make sure she was going the right direction, and finally got us to her house, about three doors down from mine. Seems that I need to pay more attention to who my neighbors are, so that if they would happen to run into me late at night and obviously high I could get them home in a timely fashion. As I walked home she stood on her doorstep watching me walk away (yes, I looked back, she was standing there until I walked into my yard.) I hope it was her house at least. She was gone when I walked back by about ten minutes later after realizing that I still had four bucks in my pocket and a good half hour before the nearest bar closed, but a similarly aged guy in a VW bus pulled up outside her house and ran in looking freaked out. I can only imagine THAT phone call.

Moral of the story folks: DON'T TRIP ALONE! But if you do, in Portland at least, and a big hairy thirty-somesuch drunk freak comes by and asks if your ok, it just might be me (so ask,) and if it is me I can tour guide with the best of 'em.

Thursday, August 17, 2000

Violet... Baby.. Really.. This is for *you* --Zippy @9:21PM

I seem to have upset a certain someone *cough* online tonight, and I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to her. She is a nice, wholesome girl after all, and I guess I shouldn't have started talking to her ex-boyfriend. I talked some trash, called her some names, but worst of all, I tattled. Tattleing is a no-no. Netiquette requires that if a person posts a conversation on IRC, the other party should be kept in the dark at all times. God forbid they actually know their conversation is being repeated for weirdos like Yours Truly to read.

Violet, I am sincerely sorry for what I did. It was wrong, uncalled for, and none of my business. Please, please find it in your heart to forgive me.
*mwah*
All better now?

Must have i-opener.. +5 to geek status..-- eod 2:11PM PST

I need to put in some overtime at work so I can pickup this new toy. At one time these bad boys sold for $99 at retail eletronic stores. The catch was you buy this $99 system and sign up for the isp service (which is how the company made the money). People figured out how to clear the 16 meg flash in it and began adding there own OS. It's the perfect x terminal box for my living room. Flat screen monitor, small keyboard, perfect to sit on my coffee table. Unfortunately the company decided to counter the linux people by offering the box for $400 or forcing you to sign up for the service. Fortunatly you can find them on ebay.

BONUS

Since you kiddies have been so 3l33t, I've put up this (nudie stuff so go wakeup the children and bring them into the room). I'm off to earn some OT and get enough money together for this i-opener.

You ain't shit like piss..-- eod 11:21am PST

I hear ya Weishaupt, work has approved anytime overtime work crunch to meet this high volume of calls. What does this mean? Since I am paid by the hour and not a sucker salary man, we get some nice OT pay. Besides more money than you could make slinging fish on a boat in alaska, we have tons of campers parked out in the parking lot so everyone can get there 18 hour shifts in.

Bushed --weishaupt @3:09 AM PST

I am in some sorry-ass shape. Another twelve-hour day today at work, not that I don't enjoy dining alone in a bar at ten PM on a weekday. Things are so busy at work that I noticed my manager has switched from the phrase "lunch hour" to "lunch break", to avoid implying that salaried professionals like myself deserve a whole hour to eat lunch. On Friday night I pinched a nerve or something ( memo to self: don't try to do yoga while you're drunk, you know you're just going to try to blow yourself again ), which means my left leg has hurt pretty much constantly since then. Doing wonders for my already sunny disposition, no doubt. And now I'm pissed off because, wait, here's a shocker, bla-bla's FTP server is fucked again. Oh yeah, and I'm having a root canal tomorrow. Envy me yet? On the plus side, tomorrow I get to take the day off work, for the root canal. And, I get vicadin.

But enough of my girlish sobbing; I'm posting primarily to discuss our friend Katie. A few days ago, I mentioned offhandedly that I had seen some nude pix of this girl on the web, and I have been inundated since then with requests for URLs, pictures, used panties, etc. I mean, I haven't gotten this much email about a post since Good Armless, Bad Armless. (incidentally, I'd like to apologize to anyone that saw the Katie picture, and just clicked mindlessly on the link in hopes of seeing forbidden underaged cooter) Well, people, I'm appalled. Shocked and apalled. Don't you realize you're just encouraging the gratuitous exploitation of an underaged dipshit? Aren't you concerned that you're strengthening the dark bond between sexuality, greed and profit, while simultaneously contributing to the cheapening of the erotic? Ooooh, baby, that's it, charge my credit card, baby, slide that plastic through the slot. Folks, you do not need to be paying thirty-five bucks to see pictures of some screwed-up girl drunkenly flashing the band at her little brother's bar mitzvah. If you're really that curious, let me describe her nekkid pix: she looks pretty much like all the other chicks you can see naked on the net. And if you're having trouble finding free pictures of naked women, well then, you're obviously not trying very hard.

That being said, I've only gotten my hands on a couple dozen pictures of her so far. I'm waiting on Damon over at Chimptopia to hook me up, so go bug him.

Wednesday, August 16, 2000

Achin for baked pie --Zippy @10:41PM

Zippy here checking in from the trenches on the front line. The PenIs army has been doing some great work with Katie and her world, keep it up. If any of you have been holding back on me with pics, I'll find you, be sure of it.

I'm working hard on something that I'm sure you guys will absolutly love, so stay tuned. In the meantime, I present to you Cyd's Sister. There aren't too many pictures of her floating around and I'm proud to say that PenIs got the scoop on this girl. Maybe if we all ask really nicely, she'll even set up an online portfolio.