Jelly Belly Warehouse Tour Submitted by Miss Doomy304 The Jelly Belly Warehouse was absolutely in-fucking-sane. Upon our arrival we were greeted by a slobbering jellybean hellbeast with a bright yellow logo on its gut. It waved to us as grubby children clung to its leg; Clem and I laughed uneasily. Inside, flashing lights and giant bins of artificially flavored candy greeted us. Screaming sugar-coated kids swarmed around us as their parents tried in vain to retrieve them. Jelly Belly t-shirts, Jelly Belly recipe guides, Jelly Belly calendars, the velly famous Jelly Belly Wall O' Celebrities (tm)... it was too much. I started getting a sugar buzz and I hadn't even eaten any candy. I was bouncing around in my sneakers and giggling over the various Jelly Belly combinations listed in our handy-dandy pamphlet (The British version, not the American... there WAS a difference). Clem and I got in line for the Jelly Belly Warehouse Tour, which appeared to be a little train ride around a whole bunch of boxes. We really had no idea what to expect. There were at least a hundred peopple in line, and I expected the train to carry only about 15 passengers. We stood in line for approximately fifteen minutes and the doors to the train area didn't open once, yet the line kept moving. Apparently people were squishing themselves together up front. We mysteriously moved about 20 places in line. I'm still not sure how this happened. Meanwhile, the flashing lights were still going off. Now, I should mention that these were not your ordinary strobe "WELCOME TO TEH JELLY BELLAYS1!~" lights. These were fire alarm lights. But the Jelly Belly employees were going about their business as if nothing was wrong, so Clem and I thought nothing of it. Maybe the alarm was just malfunctioning or something. Until it started buzzing. Loud, long, high-pitched squeals. The hordes of small kids didn't seem to notice, thankfully; sugar-buzzed kids I can deal with, but not sugar-buzzed WAILING kids. This was not a good thing. I could barely hear myself speak over the din. The Jelly Belly employees at the service desk continued checking customers out cheerfully, seeming not to notice. The older man standing in line in front of us jokingly said, "Maybe the sprinklers will go off." I looked up. There was a sprinkler head directly above me. The buzzing continued for around five minutes, and we kept moving forward in the line that went nowhere. I was beginning to worry, not to mention the fact that the incessant buzzing was annoying the hell out of me. The doors to the back warehouse area still hadn't opened. I asked Clem if he wanted to just leave; after all, we had other things to see, things that began at a certain time (see Medieval Times post below). Clem paused for a moment, then announced he smelled smoke. That was it; we quickly evacuated the building to move on to more important things. On our way out to the car, we took a few pictures of the warehouse that we were sure wouldn't exist the next day and imagined the next day's headlines: "Hundreds killed in tragic warehouse fire; victims were too sugar-buzzed to notice alarms." Apparently it didn't burn down though, and we missed a perfectly good tour. Ah well. Medieval Times more than made up for it... Medieval Times --Clme A few weeks ago Doomy talked me into having dinner at a "Medieval Times" in Chicago. Ah... Medieval Times. How many ways can I describe thee? "Eating with your fingers, wearing funny hats, and watching a bunch of guys pretend to fight while on horseback" just doesn't convey the proper atmosphere. I really enjoyed the place... until the very end. At the end of the show, when evil was vanquished (and being escorted to the torture chamber) the 'king' stood up and made an announcment. Now before I go on, let me say to those of you that have been there before that apparently they have 'updated' the show recently. First he thanked his knights, since he was still king and there was a 'good' heir to the throne. Then he asks the triumphant winner to get on his horse and proudly carry the colors of his great land. At this point someone jumps on a horse, grabs AN AMERICAN FLAG, and starts parading around the arena. Hrm... So there is a King of America now... and he works at Medieval Times. Of course, I sat there with my jaw in my lap (as did Doomy) while the crowd around us gave a STANDING OVATION to the new King of America.