Okay, I thought I had Japan all figured out, I've been here a while, figured out how the trains work, and discovered the only place in the country with free coffee refills (Mr. Donuts). So then I go into the store yesterday for simple shopping, and with what am I confronted?
A complete and utter lack of deoderant.
The first time I was here, for some reason I brought along a big Value-Club box of SpeedStick, and I never gave it much thought. But this time, I arrive with just what's in my dop kit only to find that I have apparently been spending these last two years in an utterly deoderantless country, like Europe for short people. WTF? And how did I not notice this sooner? Are Japanese inherently unsmelly, unlike, for example, Belgians? Or is there just a special store somewhere in a dank corner of Kabukicho, controlled by the yakuza and accessible only to those who know the secret pinky-fingerless handshake? Weishaupt, you're a freemason, can you let me in on the secret here?
And can someone send me some Arrid before the drippy Tokyo summer arrives and I start smelling so bad that people come up and start conversations with me in French?
Ok maybe I've been living in a closet, under a rock or in apt #6 here in Portland but I don't understand what an 'X bra' is.. Apparently Josh does, and I guess he feels that a lot of other people also know what one is. Is this some sort of new product? Or is it suppose to be a joke (If it's a joke where is the joke?). I figured some other people might be green to what this "x bra" is so I decided to conduct a little research. Here is what my research has turned up.
An altavista search for "bra x","X bra" & "x-bra". Which shows nothing relating to x bra.
To put it simply, I don't get it. Just looks like an air brushed lady in a black bra. I've seen the same thing in a target ad.
Hey see that title grue/fenomas? Impressed? Oh your not?.. Oh well I pieced together the words I remember from Japanese class in highschool. I guess I'd remember more if I didn't bring in 3x5" cards with all the phrases we where going to be tested on each week. I got pretty good at writing really small and using the shrink function of a photocopier. I can still remember the japanese song that Josh and I sang in front of the whole highschool for 100 extra credit points.
Thanks to one Thomas
Macauley for leaving this in my mailbox:
A picture that Josh posted of a lady in a bra. (see below)
And Josh's Quote "I sure hope she doesn't hurt me with that!" (see below)
You funny. Ha ha funny. Ha-ha.......Growing tired of trying to improve
his life, Johnny set
off to relax, to blow off some steam, to merely exist for a brief time. In
this eternally
transient moment of his non-exisrence, Johnny forgot where he was. Johnny
forgot who he
was, Johnny forgot what was was. No longer chained to the dreary earth
bound reality which
imprisioned the boy named Johnny; emerged a new soul, still called Johnny
for some odd
reason but with a new pissed-off sounding tonality.Outraged was he,
outraged at everything.
In this work-a-day world, where he, and everybody, were required to give
their lives away
for hourly pay. Just eight hours today, and everyday say they. They also
say, come in
early tomorrow, and I need you on saturday. But we'll give you a raise.
how comforted
because his feebly trembling brain was filled with a familiar alkaloid
smoked hastily and
shakingly, Johhny felt comfortable one again knowing his life was now
worth $12.50 an hour.
Feeling so fully content with this and every aspect of life once again, he
put out his
cigarette and went back to work.
Wow, well that was shitty. As you can probably see the power went out here at the PenIs headquarters. It turned Monday into a pretty eventful night. Right after I got home from work I was working on a paper and hanging out with some friends in the computer room of my apt. When we noticed the lizard cage lights begin to dim down and then go back on. We figured it must be related to the heavy wind we've been having so I sat and debated about shutting down the server. Well 10 seconds later someone of a higher power decided to make the decision for me. All the lights went out, the server fans whirled down, and the room came to an eerie hush. Hmm, this wasn't the process I had planned on taking to shutdown the server. About 5 seconds of silence we all stood up and looked out the window to see if everyone else had there power off. Welp nope everyone seems to be running with plenty of juice. Well that was odd for all the power to go out must be a breaker. After fumbling around in the complete dark I find my mag light and wield the awesome power of light once again. I figure maybe it's a flipped breaker, I walk on into the room and am greeted with a lung full of stanky smoke. I don't remember blazin' up in the backroom I think something is fishy. Then I notice the sounds of crackling, fizzing and popping coming from the wall of the breaker. Yes I think something here is wrong. My GF gets a bit scared and her and her friend call the fire station to come since things won't stop smoking. Now we could call our landlord, but we have the worlds biggest slum, scum, fucking good for nothing lord, so we up the stakes and call the fire dept here and then call our manager and slum lord so they can't makeup some bullshit excuse.