Due to my deep understanding of Japan and the Japanese culture, I often meet strange, goateed, partially washed males who ask me, with a tremulous tone of dread in their rarely-used voices,

"Does Reading Manga and Watching Anime Make Me Cool?"

A good question, and one that is much on the mind of society, now more than ever before. However, I'm afraid that, all too often, the answer is, "No, you sad sack of shit.". But before you sigh with despair and burn all your back issues of "Oh! My Goddess" and run outside to take up beach volleyball, let's look at this issue in a little more detail. 

There are actually two separate media (and phenomena) to be dealt with here. The first is called "manga", a native Japanese word meaning comic. The second is "anime", a word borrowed and shortened from "animation", and pronounced the same, save for the -tion. Though deeply related, each of these forms deserves a separate treatment. 

Part I: Background: Manga 

The history of Japanese comics begins with Manga, or so I intend to claim. There might be some more ancient precursor, but such things are outside the scope of this commentary, and I didn't do any research. Anyway, after the war, reading material was scarce, but people were eager for diversion, and pulp paper had become cheaper than ever before. This provided the perfect environment for Manga to gain a foothold in the Japanese society and culture. (I'm bullshitting here, but it may have happened that way.) I read somewhere that these days around 40% of the published material in Japan is manga, which is incredible. I think it was 40%. It was a lot, anyway. 

However, the manga of today bears little resemblance to American comic books (and not just for lack of foil covers). Manga is published in huge telephone directory-thick books, weekly, each collection containing dozens of individual stories. If a particular story thread gets popular enough, like GTO, then it will spawn a series of smaller read-on-the-train sized versions containing only that title. Any manga that has ever been translated and published in English first had to graduate from huge weeklies into this paper-back-sized form. 

Part II: Background: Anime 

At some point in the 1960's, or maybe the 50's, a brilliant but overworked manga artist had the bright idea of making an animated television show out of a manga character, and Astroboy was born. Most likely, anyway. Actually, anime may have started as movies, come to think of it. Also, I don't have any direct evidence that Astroboy was the first anime. It might not have even been a manga. But for the time being, let's assume all that stuff I said was basically accurate. 

Over the years, this fledgling art form struggled like a newborn kitten to gain its footing, and despite some missteps (Crayon-Shinchan) has emerged today as a vibrant and relevant media, producing such laudable achievements as Kimagure Orange Road and Bubble-Gum Crisis. The most common kind of anime is the half-hour televised version, usually inspired by a successful manga. These are often produced in a long interminable series [c.f. Kimagure Orange Road]. Less often as feature length motion pictures. Most notably the works of famed director Hayao Miyazaki (Tonari no Totoro [My Neighbor Totoro], Laputa, etc.) have occasionally survived the trip across the Pacific, and his last, Mononoke-hime [Princess Mononoke], was dubbed and released as a "real" movie. 

Part III: On Coolness 

But we still haven't answered the question inherent in our theme, to wit, Does Reading Manga and Watching Anime Make One Cool? Well.... In general, No. Unfortunately, and to many a pale fleshy shut-in's dismay, the majority of manga and anime is lifeless and droll, and having an encyclopedic memory of the plots of every episode of Maison Ikkoku (insomuch as any of the episodes had plots) is as insufficient a sign of coolness as a complementary knowledge of Colombo. You wouldn't go around boasting of your predilection for My Little Pony, would you? Then you should shut the hell up about Sailor Moon as well. 

And turning our focus to manga, we find the situation just as bleak. If you think that six different companies publish weekly manga collections of 400 pages apiece and manage to find deep and compelling stories for each and every one, then you probably think that collecting Pokemon cards continues to be charming significantly after puberty. Let me make this clear--- There.  Are.  Manga.  About.  Chess. . . .     CHESS. I mean to say that there are comic books, published weekly, about people playing chess, in case that wasn't obvious. And baseball. And fishing, and basketball, and high school, and corporate life, and middle school, and judo, and karate, and othello.  Othello! I've sat on the commuter train next to people reading manga about other people riding on the commuter train, for christ's sake. 

The point is that anime is, essentially, blurry crap for kids, and manga is, essentially, a quantity-not-quality proposition. The fact that they are Japanese does not make them interesting or deep or inscrutable any more than it makes Pokemon significantly different from G.I.Joe. Unfortunately, in the vast majority of cases, that's all you need to know. 

Part IV: Worthy of Individual Mention 

There are some examples of manga and animation which, for various reasons, do not fit so well with the general treatment I have given so far. I would like to address those cases individually. 

Akira 
This is possibly the most famous of all anime. It was not the usual childish doggerel that gets churned out of the big anime factory, and that makes it worthy of mention. However, it is extremely popular and widely seen. This means that, sadly, watching it is insufficient to make you cool for much the same reason that watching Reservoir Dogs is insufficient to make you counterculture. You should still watch it though. No, I take that back. You should have already watched it several times. 

Crayon-Shinchan 
Not only does this not make you cool, it makes you stupid. Crayon Shinchan is a cruel trick employed by the devil. Do not watch this anime. Thank You. 

The Works of Hayao Miyazaki  
(Totoro, Nausicaa and the Valley of Wind, Mimi o Sumaseba, Witch Delivery Service, Laputa, Mononoke-hime, etc, etc...) 
This famed animator/director's works have a certain feel to them, like a fairy-tale grown up and made to live in the modern world, and can be refreshing examples of what is good about modern animation. Also, they cleverly chose super-cool Neil Gaiman to write the English script of Princess Mononoke. However, these movies have overwhelmingly become modern day merchandising fodder, a la Disney, and therefore they are only sufficient to make you partially cool. (No points for the Hollywood Disney dub) 

Grey 
If you read all of Grey, then you are pretty cool. 

Ninja Scroll 
Not bad, but read Grey. 

DragonBall Z / Voltron / Beast Wars / Sailor Moon / Pocket Monsters, etc. 
If you are under fourteen, then watching these anime makes you typical. If not, it makes you an idiot. Go the hell outside, unless you live in one of those places where they shun and persecute hideous grotesques of humanity. 

Fist of the North Star 
Not enough to make you cool. But if you saw the live action movie and laughed your nuts off, then you're well on your way. 

Lupin the Third
Lupin is cute, but it isn't funny in English, so if you watch a sub/dubbed version, then you're just posturing.

Urotsu-kidouji 
Freak. 

Part V: To Summarize

There is nothing wrong with anime and manga, as media.  But there is nothing right with them either.  The style is a little different, but there is nothing inherent about these things that makes them preferable to more aesthetic examples of western art.  Though Japanese comix may strike you as exotic and interesting in the beginning, this will pass, and if several months go by and you still think "Video Girl Ai" was a poignant story, then you just don't recognize value in art, period.

In short, Comics and Animation can be terrific.  But if you spend your time reading back issues of Slam Dunk when you could be reading Sandman, then you're reading it because it's Manga, and not because it's Good, and that means you Suck. 

Part VI: A Final, Important Note 

If you have seen or read "Jojo no Kimyouna Bouken" [Jojo's Bizarre Adventure] then you just kick ass. If you are also good at the Capcom game based on the same manga/anime, then you are an undeniably spectacular human being. Revel in your superiority.