Several problems with the email I received from you folks, attached below.

1) Don't sign the email with the name of anyone who isn't willing to read the replies. It's incredibly patronizing. Oooh, the CEO has taken a personal interest in my problem? I feel honored. I don't know, nor am I impressed by, your little company's CEO, and if he's not willing to sign his email address, he shouldn't be signing his name.

2) 10 free long distance minutes? What am I, a Trobriand islander who's fascinated with shiny baubles? I don't want help paying my phone bill, I want some goddamn flowers on my sainted Mother's dining room table. In that simple task, you have failed, and a calling card or other cheap trinket doesn't change that.

3) There's no way you could have gotten the flowers there on time? Bullshit. You mean, "There's no way we could have gotten OUR flowers there on time." You sent this email out Saturday afternoon, you had time to get flowers delivered, if you'd wanted to. You think I've never bought flowers at the last minute? I know how you get flowers delivered the day before Mother's Day: You pay too goddamn much. I've done it countless times. You could have decided to make good to your customers, but you didn't.

4) If you guys had gone the extra mile, called FTD, and found a flower shop in Illinois, and coughed up the extra bucks to get em to ship some flowers out there pronto, I would have been impressed. I would have continued to order flowers from you, and I would have reccomended you to my friends. Furthermore, I run a website that gets a few thousand hits a day, and I would be posting an article on what a fine company proflowers.com is on that site right now.

5) You guys didn't. Hence, I won't be ordering flowers from you, I will be counseling my friends to avoid you, and I will be writing an article on my website about how much you guys suck. Them's the breaks.

Good luck with the IPO, chuckleheads. I suggest that next Mother's Day, you make some back-up arrangements in case of unforeseen circumstances.

Incidentally, I buy a shitload of flowers.

Fuck you,
Adam Weishaupt
President and CEO of Ex-Customer, Inc.

----- Original Message -----
From: <info@proflowers.com>
To: <weishaupt23@hotmail.com>
Sent: Saturday, May 13, 2000 11:20 AM
Subject: Proflowers.com Order # xxxxxxxxxx

> Date: May 13, 2000
> RE: Your Proflowers.com Order Number xxxxxxxxxx
> Dear Nick Hall:
>
> We are very sorry to inform you that the flowers you scheduled for
> delivery today will not arrive. A trucking company contracted by FedEx
> trucks our flowers directly from our growers to the airport. On Friday
> morning, there was a very serious truck accident in Northern California
> that resulted in injuries to the truck driver and destroyed flower
> packages.
>
> We are acutely aware of how special Mother's Day is, and how important
> flowers are on this occasion. Unfortunately, there is no way for
> Proflowers to schedule a replacement package to arrive in time for
> Mother's Day. Therefore, we are sending this e-mail to give you as much
> opportunity as possible to make alternate arrangements for a Mother's Day
> gift.
>
> If your order has not yet been charged to your credit card, it will not
> be. If the charge has already been processed by the bank, we will issue a
> full refund that will appear on your card within 3-5 days.
>
> If you would like to reschedule delivery through Proflowers for next week,
> all of the sender and recipient address information is saved on your
> account. Simply log into our site through this link
> [removed] by Tuesday, May 16, and select your
> bouquet of choice. You will not be charged any FedEx shipping charges on
> this order. After the order process, you will be offered the option of a
> free electronic greeting card or 10 free long distance minutes to convey
> your sentiments this Mother's Day.
>
> In order to better inform you, we are providing the answers to some
> questions we think you might have:
>
> Q: Why didn't Proflowers.com contact me sooner?
> A: The truck crashed in Laytonville--a remote town of Northern California.
> It was not until late last night that FedEx was able to determine which
> packages were on board. Because of the number of orders involved, there
> was simply not enough time to identify all of the senders until now.
>
> Q: Why didn't Proflowers.com call me on the telephone?
> A: The number of orders affected by the accident was relatively large. The
> time it would have taken to call each and every sender would have limited
> the opportunity for our customers to make alternate arrangements.
>
> Q: Why can't Proflowers get replacement flowers to my recipient before
> Mother's Day?
> A: Unfortunately, Federal Express does not generally deliver on Sunday or
> Monday. Therefore, the first available delivery date for orders placed
> today is Tuesday, May 16th.
>
> Q: Why haven't you automatically scheduled a replacement delivery for next
> week?
> A: It has been our experience that many flower recipients have different
> addresses for Saturday than they do during the week. Flowers arriving at
> the wrong address didn't seem like the best answer. We think we offer our
> customers a better solution by canceling the order, refunding the credit
> cards, and giving them the opportunity to place a new order for next week.
>
> Q: What if I already scheduled a reorder through your customer service
> department?
> A: This e-mail is being sent to every customer who had a package on the
> ill-fated truck. If you have already arranged for a replacement delivery
> through our customer service department, those deliveries will be
> processed as scheduled.
>
> Again, we are truly very sorry for any inconvenience this problem may have
> caused you. Please feel free to call us with any questions or concerns you
> might have.
>
> Sincerely,
> Bill Strauss, CEO
> Proflowers.com
>