Hear ye hear ye.. New addition to the crapper, all you sick monkeys go check it out. Remember the crapper has some stuff that may get you into trouble if you view it from a public setting. This entry involves a goth, a needle, nekkidness and a needle going into the vaginal skin.
| Friday, April 14th, 2000 |
Eod, I understand, but I just don't care. Not much to
say tonight, except I'm frickin starving. But before I
go hunting/gathering, I promised you something stupid,
and here it is:
I tell you, this is the funniest clip I've seen since... ah,
what's the point, Stile probably already posted it.
Damn you weishaupt.. I don't think you understand how many of us view
this page from work. Full frontal nudity is normally not office
acceptable and if it is people still look at you wierd when you have a
nekkid lady right on the main page. I will now view this page from work
using lynx.
Also btw people don't make your 11 year old kid call into fucking
tech support. Not only do they have no clue whats going on, but
everytime they have to run to you to get the password to turn off content
adviser ends up getting old real quick. And I don't know what it is with
kids these days but they all sound stoned off there ass.
Me:Whats the error message that just popped up on the screen
I've had a few articles submitted to me quite some time ago and they both got lost in my bank of spam mails sent to me. Without much further ado. Article 1 comes from a reader by the name of bigbear, a Fire Fighter/Medical First Responder for over 9 years and has his own views on seatbelt safety.
Article2 comes from our friend furth3r who designed the wonderful animated banners or the site.
I was all set to go off on a big long rant about something tonight, but it
appears that last night, in a marijuana-fueled stupor, I promised
more funny videos. Well, I must be high again, because right now, at this
very moment in time, I am promising you, the internet consumer, even more
silly A/V tomorrow night! But first let's get to tonight's feature.
Here's a clip that really makes
you wonder who made it, and why. Someone has digitally altered... well,
I'll let the clip speak for itself. So without further ado:
Don't know who did that, or why, or when,
or whatever, but
I knows I likes it.
And before I go, let me say one small word of warning: The webmaster of a
certain ridiculously popular website recently posted a certain
extremely humorous balloon-related movie without bothering to give
props to the Mighty Pen who found it. Well, suffice it to say that that
certain webmaster also happens to be a big fan of the physical
assets of one Alyssa Milano, and for that reason, a certain
heavily-armed prepsychotic named weishaupt is keeping a close eye on
that certain webmaster. Remember kids, when you mirror something that
weishaupt found without pimping him, you're no better than Solosier. PS. If
you're wondering who Cyd is, yes, he has posted before, although you'd
have to be the Memorex elephant to remember. He's the hippie who has been
pictured (with what is now his ex-girlfriend) on what I humorously refer
to as my webcam for the last few months.
well, i finally got full time and benefits at my job last month,
as well as a job title upgrade. i am now a level II counselor,
and work 40 hours a week at a local community mental health center
for a mere 23k. i've been in portland for 9 months now, and until
recently had been making a pittance (though some would argue i still am).
as a result, i've had to let many things slide, and now it's time to play
catch-up before i start paying off my indentured service, er i mean
student loans. however, not to be left out by weishaupt, i got myself
a government job for supplemental income. i train monkeys how to go out
and ding dong ditch. (i get paid $14/hr to train fools how to take the
census.) i was working at least 10 hour days on the weekdays and
eight hour days on the weekends, with quite a few 15 - 17 hour days.
that means no more weekends like the other weekend for awhile; drinking
ganga beer, eating birthday cake made with 3# ganga butter, playing bass
with one random band, singing the words to "bio-mecca," a poem i wrote,
with another, and playing drums with three or four bands... but then
again, when i'm finished, i should be able to replace my rebuilt 386
converted into a cyrix m2 200+ with a real machine, but that's a whole
other post. this does bring me, however to the crux of this post:
someone with whom i used to go to school at the university of illinois at
urbana-champaign decided it would be a good idea to steal two g4's from
the school. ok, he has property boundry issues. i can deal with that.
what i can't deal with, is that when one did not work after he brought it
home, he must have mistaken the school for customer service, cuz he tried
to BRING IT BACK! of course that slick move got him caught, and he is now
charged with grand theft. ok. he had it out scot-free, and gained
nothing but risk by reentering the scene of the crime with the evidence.
let's all learn from his mistake, kids. if you already have the
merchandise, and the shit just don't work, follow my friend mikey's advice
in this order:
1. use duct tape.
2. kick it.
3. hit it with a hammer.
and if the shite still don't work?
throw it out the window.
but, under no circumstances do you return to the scene of the crime with
the evidence.
Up all night working hard, that's why. On what you ask? On my
presentation for tomorrow's 9:30 AM meeting, that's what. Ha! Had ya
going there for a minute, didn't I? I've been ignoring the meeting,
just as I've been ignoring the fact (becoming more evident every hour)
that I will be oversleeping said meeting. Instead, I've been downloading
filthy, amusing little movies and pictures to keep you lot entertained.
Plenty of A/V good stuff on the way, but sadly you have to wait for me
to sleep, go to my silly meeting, and then probably sleep again.
All in good time. But since I'm not altogether a bad guy, here's
something
to tide you over:
Men, if that doesn't
make you feel better about yourself, then you're under twelve. Women:
unless you already know better, trust me: the man pictured in this clip
is average in every physical dimension.
Source:Boston globe
Teacher Kathy Morris had also sent herself threatening letters, Pima County sheriff's spokeswoman Deanna Coultas said Tuesday.
Morris told authorities she did it to highlight the lack of security at the school.
In my attempt to try to do my part for the kids, I rolled up yesterday to this elementary school shot it up with various automatic weapons and told the kids to stay in school and offered a discount on the crack I was slanging from the jungle gym set.
Sometimes I steal mail from mailboxes sometimes. Click me hard to
go check out a postcard I decided to hold on to.
Oh, and Josh, dude, if you can't even recognize your own
girlfriend'd voice, tell her to lay off the crackpipe, it's
fucking up her larynx. :-/
Man! Nothing like getting ICQ messages from really strange people! Tonight while I was
doing some homework, I was greeted by the all to familiar ICQ chirp letting me know
that someone had just sent me a message. Well I clicked on the show message button
and got a nice little surprise:
Oh BTW Weis, I called the number you left and asked for instructions, and they told me I should
start stroking certain parts of my body while they tell me a story... Who the hell was that that I talked to?
Your sister, girlfriend, or mom even??
Now that that's out of the way,
go download the Preview for Lord of the Rings, it looks pretty
sweet. As I waited for it to download, I thought bitterly
to myself, "Okay, they're going to do the whole fucking three
or four or five or however many books it was in one movie,
it'll be nothing but dragon-fighting scenes from start to
finish." Well, turns out they're going to do four movies,
the first one and then one apiece for the next three Christmases.
Which sucks if you're impatient like me. So here's
something to keep you busy.
In an attempt to nourish myself while my Gf was on her mini-road trip, yet being the lazy bum I have been this whole weekend I didn't want to search through the mess of the apt for the 1 and only phone we own (its cordless and could be anywhere) but I could find the computer. I brought up food.com, entered my city and zip and ordered myself a pizza online. Got an email about 3 mins later confirming that my food would be ready in 10 mins. Score, that let me know that soon I needed to put possibly a shirt on or maybe even some pants to answer the door. I thought about just having them leave the food on the steps and leave but they might of needed some sort of signature.
Who knows what kind of awful goons these bastards from Godfathers might send, I needed to prepare myself and quick. I only had 10 mins. Forging through the mess of discarded clothes and bottles I come across my trusty blackjack (A sock filled with BBs) often used to scare away the paper boy trying to collect for a paper that we never get. I also grab a cup of coffee from the table and nuke it back to full heat. I turn off all the lights and positions my cats for a full flank attack if needed. The cats know the code, they know when to spring, this is a drill they have executed many times before. And now we wait..
After sitting in the darkness for 7 mins, we here steps coming up the stairs..
knock knock knock
At this point I grab my pizza and brian Sal the Pizza guy in the head with my blackjack. The look on the bastards face as my weapon came in contact with his face was not a pretty one but it was necessary, Sal was indeed some sort of looney who didn't understand the way that we live. I slam the door and listen to Sal crawl down the stairs of the apt, then I remembered I still have this coffee, I swing open the door and throw the whole cup of coffee at him. The cup smacking him in the back of the head and Sal went from a crawl to a lump down the stairs. At this point I ran down swiped Sal's wallet and retreated back inside. And that was my experience with food.com, I give them 7 out of 10.. (Some of the events may of been made up, I'm not sure.. I overheard my cats talking about this event while they where pooing at the same time.)
Hey look some news
Source:Boston Globe
The 4-year-old cat somehow escaped from its stone-walled exhibit Saturday and roamed free for a while.
Casper apparently was so unnerved by the unfamiliar surroundings that he waded into a shallow lake, looking for refuge on a small island, curator Mike Dulaney said. The animal was shot with a tranquilizer dart and carried off on a stretcher.
On man! Nothing like waking up from a dream that includes you willfully
cutting off both of your hands in front of your friends and then paying
a street doctor to sew them both back on! What stress!
Well I'm slowly going insane tonight, where are all my aim buddies to keep me entertained while
I'm at work? Come on people the aim name is gewdyit420 drop in while I'm here at work.
Save a fellow human from going insane doing tech support tonight.
Yours in Christ, weishaupt
Man have I accomplished nothing today. I thoroughly enjoyed it,
and advise you all to do the same. Except for working man Eod, of
course. If it makes you feel any better, Eod, my paychecks have
gone from sturdy and supple to lean and wiry. You'd laugh your
ass off if you saw what I get paid right now. Not that I have
to do much. At any rate, it looks like BAMF should
be releasing their On the Prowl video just any day now.
Now, us long-time BAMF readers
are looking forward to this quite a bit, because we've been hearing
about this video and how cool it's gonna be since, oh, the late
fucking mesozoic era. And even more so because the link to the
trailer has been broken so long, I've forgotten what those
guys look like. Now I'm not one to bitch and whine about other
people's web sites, but
Sharkey, if On the Prowl doesn't absolutely kick
righteous amounts of ass, I will personally hunt you down and
I will permanently impact my foot in your rectum. Doctors will
try and fail to separate us, and we'll have to tour the country
as a freak show, begging for spare change and living on the meager
ad revenue from our web site, www.icantgetmyfootoutofsharkeysass.com.
And nobody wants that. Although it does present the possibility of
some truly unique sexual positions, if Sharkey's girlfriend turns
out to be somewhat broadminded. And limber. I think I've lost
my original train of thought. Suffice it to say that I'll be
sure to put up a reminder when they finally get around to publishing
that bad boy.
In an attempt to make use of my idle hands at work, I've been working on flipping a coin across the top of my fingers.
Figuring someday this skill could come in quite handy I'm averaging about 6 hours of my time at work flipping the coin across
my fingers. Now all I have money wise is a quarter and 3 dimes, at this point I'm dog hungry, didn't bring a lunch and I'm
not breaking for lunch for another 2 or 3 hours. We have a vending machine, I could use the quarter and get a bag of chips
which would help curb my hunger until lunch but then what will I do with my hands? (No not that can't do that at work)..
Glad to hear you got a day off from the grind, Eod. I went out
and got hammered last night as well, and ended up in Denny's. Apparently
there was some rap show last night, because the place was choked
with black people dressed in some of the most outlandish garb I've
ever seen. There was a chick in a pink, leopard-print hat and
matching pants. Country's goin to Hell in a handbasket.
Anyway, the purpose of this post is tell you all to immediately open
Napster and download
Flower by Liz Phair. Some girl I knew in
college played this song for me, and I had forgotten it existed,
but I ran across it today and the memories came flooding back.
Put this song on continuous play, and invite your girlfriend
into the room, and ask her what she thinks. If she says, "This
is stupid music and I can see why you like it," dump her. Yes,
right now. She just doesn't understand. However, if she starts
listening to all the words intently and her eyes go out of focus,
then take my advice keep her around for awhile. If, after hearing
the song once, she wants to hear it again, for God's sake, marry her
quick!
Recent studies show that McDonalds food is causing deaths among cows at alarming rates. Some scientists think it has something to do with the meat patty inside the burger.
Went out last night, and came to the conclusion that I don't like the bars that serve really stiff drink anymore (unless my point is to get completed wasted) a rum and coke with a teaspoon of coke and a jug of rum just doesn't taste that good to sit back and drink. Plus places that make stiff drinks always look like a Denny's that hasn't been cleaned since the beginning of time. As much as I like sitting in rotting booths I guess I prefer a bit more atmosphere than a bunch of smoke and sticky seats.
Went to bed around 4:30am and was woken up around 9pm by the weekly Jahova's witnesses knocking on the door.
For some reason they cover up the peephole and I always think its someone I know. So I open the
door in my underwear and then I end up listening to this long rant they have while I grow increasingly aware
that I'm standing, in the cold in my boxers, with 2 people talking to me. I always tell them to try the apt
to there left down the stairs (That'd be Weis's)
Me: Umm, know what? You might want to try the apt down the stairs
From now on I'm popping open my mail slot
to get a good look at there lower torso, if it looks like someone in nice clothes I'll just walk back and goto bed.
Good one Weis, but I've found a way to librate myself for the time being. I've called in sick to work and just took a day off (kinda a day off only had to goto classes today). Washed, polished and waxed my car, applied touch up paint here and there. Felt what sunlight feels like (haven't seen the sun for about 2 months) watched Maury Povich "Please send my wild teens to boot camp" which should of been titled "See my punk ass little kids. If eod saw your stupid 14 yr old ass on the street he would of kicked your ass all over the damn road but instead they goto boot camp and break down crying like babies reaching for there mommies teet, on the first day." I will spend tonight in a haze of watching tv, fixing up my computer and possibly maybe even playing a game of Quake 3. (I know I don't play it but I'll give it a try since I saw the release of TF for it.)
Speaking of my girlfriend she is out of town on a mini roadtrip with her friend. This leaves me to some of the many pleasures of living alone. Like throwing my clothes where ever I want, eatting what I want, making a mess, living in a mess and being a total mess. Well actually this isn't much different from how I normally live except when my girlfriend is here she brings up the fact that "I don't like living in a mess will you please help and try to pick up after yourself?". To which my response is "Oh I was leaving it there because I was just about to, (a) use it (b) thought you might want to use it (c) oh must of been (fill in name here) when they came over, damn them" I can't be held down with the crazy notion of putting things on shelves and away in cabinets. Those are the ways of the man, the man who tries to keep us down, the same man who regulates the sale of liquor and leaves only one store open til 10pm which always has a huge line and is in the worst neighborhood. Making purchasing marijuana and other various substances easier and safer to buy past 10pm.
Here are my dinner choices
Kraft Dinner
I think I'm going with the saltine crackers, these seem rich in... salt.. but require little effort to prepare..
Man, that work schedule sounds rough, Eod, I feel for you. And I
know just what it's like. Wait, no I don't, I'm unemployed.
heh, sorry, I forgot. But don't think we don't all appreciate
the sacrifice you go through in order to provide the highest
possible level of technical support to the nation's legions of
idiots. Man, I'll be thinking about you an hour from now, when
I'll be down on the Square playing footbag, enjoying the sunlight,
and staring unabashedly at women in scanty apparel. Which, you
have to admit, is a pretty tough work schedule too. I mean, I have
to wake up before the sun goes down! So for anyone who's having
trouble telling the weishaupt lifestyle from the eod lifestyle, here's
a handy reference in tabular format:
Whew wee.. Been a while since I have had time to update. I actually have about 10 mins before I have to leave to work. All that spare time, I have enough time to piss and make this quick update. I'm in the process of revising my schedule and cutting down some hours. Its been a while since I have relaxed and its about time I do.
Source:yahoo news
Elderly people in the New South Wales town of Wee Waa had been living in fear since the woman was beaten and raped in her bed on New Year's Eve 1998, local member of parliament Ian Slack-Smith said Thursday.
Initial reports said all men and boys in Wee Waa had agreed to the tests
I've come up with a brilliant new theory that could explain
a lot about why men act the way they do. Bear with me here,
cuz it's kind of weird. Here's the idea: When you have a
computer program with a memory bug in it (let's say Windows 95),
at first everything works great. Then, as the bug makes more
and more memory unusuable, the computer gradually gets slower
and slower, and more erratic as well. If you reboot the computer,
everything works great again, but the bug is still there, and
in a couple of days it'll be slower than molasses again.
With me so far? Now compare that to men and orgasms. If men
don't get laid every couple of days, they get slow and dimwitted.
Among other things, they get more distracted, more erratic, and
they make dumb decisions (especially if the decision involves
how to go about getting laid). If the man decides to play a
little game of Bop the Baloney, then that relieves the pressure
and allows him to operate at more or less peak efficiency; but only
for a couple of days. Soon, he'll have to execute the ol' Manual Override
again, unless he wants to suffer degraded systems performance.
So, in conclusion, men's reproduction apparatus are analogous to
a poorly written operating system- the "always horny" option, which
was a great feature 250,000 years ago when our survival was
dependant on fucking anything that moved, can nowadays be considered
a bug in the software, with the result that, just like Windows 95,
men have to be "rebooted" every few days to be at top operational
capacity. In other words: don't feel bad if you find yourself stroking
the smokestack a little too often- it's just because God is a lazy
programmer.
Okay, quick hint to all females: when your car keeps
dying, you have to buy a new battery for it. Calling
a male friend with jumper cables every time you
need to go somewhere is not an acceptable method
of transportation. It's not that damn hard.
Wink at the AutoZone employee, maybe he'll do it for
you.
Got rid of the old poll, looks like Daddy had a singapore hooker by 200+ votes with his donkey in second by 97 votes.
Weishaupt thanks for pointing out another of my flaws though minor they are many. My public education was in an area that was considered "the Ghetto" or "the area that we keep the windows rolled up, windows locked and do not make eye contact. Damn it Jimmy did you just look at him, oh no he is coming toward the car. Damn it jimmy, get out of the car, you can walk home!", so phrases like "If you're like" where taught as "You bes like" or "If you bes been being like". I was not fortunate enough to live in the ghetto just receive my education in the ghetto. Lets praise the busing system that Seattle adopted and then abandoned, which helped keep me out of many colleges I wanted to attend.
Bravo on the newest addition to the crapper, you've clogged it up good with the recent addition.
Hooboy, am I stoked. I just ran across a wonderful video that
I thought I'd lost. Expect it later tonight, 2 megs but well
worth it. It's somehow both perfectly clean, and very very dirty.
And dammit Eod, if you're gonna post those "If your like me" titles,
change it to "If you're like me." Think of your poor abused high-school
English teacher, man! I guess "If yer like me" would be okay
to. Either way. See, I just used "to" where I shoulda used "too",
and you noticed it, and it kinda pissed you off, didn't it?
I think I split some infinitives, too. Don't tell anyone.
Source:mega star
The alleged killer - serving five years for robbery, assault and breaching a probation order - then calmly pressed the alarm button and waited for prison staff to arrive.
The victim was married Colin Bloomfield, 35, just one week into a six-month sentence for child neglect after being jailed at Newport Crown Court on March 24.
The heroin addict had been put straight into the two-man cell in the jail's vulnerable prisoners' unit, where inmates at risk of attack from fellow prisoners are housed.
One prison insider said: "It was horrific. It was like something out of a horror film. One of his eyes had been gouged out and his stomach had been gutted.
Welp looks like Bence was hacked. Hacked kinda, someone accessed the
little cgi proggie he uses to post with and made some posts. Bence withdrew his page for the mean time. Naughty
hacker, naughty..
Think you know all there is about porno? Take this test here to test your
knowledge of porn and a special saturday morning cartoon. Me I scored 4 out of 12 on this thing. Obvious I need to stroke up err brush up
on my porn star knowledge. (This link will not get you in trouble at work. No scarey porn behind the link)
Thanks to Amazon for bringing this link to my attention.
Just got done writing out the damn check for rent. Nothing like working like a dog all month then having the government
garnish your pay in the form of taxes, then after you cash in your check you sign over a large amount of it
to bills or the landlord. I just hate to see the money go.
In an attempt to save money I ended up overclocking my voodoo card last week, just a simple little reg hack and the bad boy
is running like a champ, for about 4 days. Now just turning on the computer is met with a screen full of large pixels
before it even brings up the ram count. Needless to say removing the reg hack will do nothing now, the card is DOA.
I'm now running this rocking 2meg card.. Mmmm chunky 800x600, soo now I'm in the market for a new video card.
David Parks, 35, also threatened to cut off his mother's toes, gave her a garbage bag to use as a toilet and fed her nothing but stale popcorn, police said Friday.
Parks was charged with first-degree kidnapping and willful injury. Bail was set at $100,000.
Kid: Huh
Me: The error message. What does it say
Kid: The what?
Me:The box that just popped up
Kid: You there?
Me: Yes I'm here
Kid: What do you want me to do?
Me: Read me the error message
Kid: Huh?
Me: Fine.. Just close everything down lets do this again
Kid: I can't there is this message that has been in the way that
says 'iexplore caused an invalid page fault in module blah'
Because my roommate is forcing me to watch soap operas. Why is it
that soap operas have the exact same music as porno movies? Skip that.
Today, before close of business, I need to run out and do a couple
of errands, and then I think I'll sit down and do my taxes. They're
due April 25th, right? Plenty of time. Meantime, I hope everyone's
enjoying the movies from the last few days. I've been informed
from several sources that apparently Stile posted that Alyssa
Milano clip a month ago or so. Well, I'm shocked. I mean, I knew
Stile was a low-down, back-stabbin clip-stealer, and I knew Stile
was a big fan of Alyssa and her various curves and poking bits, but
really, Stile! Stealing a clip from me a few days after I find
it is one thing, but stealing a clip from me a full month before I've
even seen it, that's something else altogether. You know I'm a
ritual marijuana abuser, so I can't be expected to remember silly
pr0nographic clips from months ago. I think it's therefore Stile's
responsibility to not post things when he knows full well that
I'll be posting it a month later. Damn stile. That being said, I've
got yet another multimedia romp for you this evening, and for all I know,
it might even be new. Or not. *ahem* Either way, it made me giggle like
an insane clown. Expect that silliness later. But first, for those of
you that don't like sport, there's sport.
Thursday, April 13th,
2000
Alyssa Milano in her most "unusual" TV
appearance to date
687KB MPGThe
Not-so-Mighty Pen
Wednesday, April 12th,
2000
TUCSON, Ariz. (AP) A school teacher who reported being shot in her empty classroom confessed to authorities that she shot herself.
Maybe they thought they could cut back on sercuirty since the teachers are coming in strapped. Anyways she said she did it for the school, umm yeah whatever. This lady either (a) Lost some sort of extreme bet with the other facility staff, (b) Is insane, or (c) Was trying to frame that little disruptive snot that sits in the corner of the room and makes farting noises.
sucking your cock. I guess basically that is what I am
wanting to do if you are interested
sandy blonde hair, bi (leaning toward men), like to read, be outside, go to beach,
talk to people, spend time with people I like, the usual...when you get a chance, tell
me about you.
Tuesday, April 11th,
2000 
Here's another picture showing you how we came up with the
domain name for this site. This is Hailey, our modern
primitive maid and occasional hooker, about to
knobslobber a beatiful Montblanc fountain pro.
I have to go play footbag at Pioneer Square, but
there'll be more silliness this evening.
Until then, remember: Eod once pushed a bum off
the Empire State building just to watch the cops
clean him up wit< shovels.
PS. How come you never see
horizontal rules anymore?
Monday, April 10th,
2000 
Alot of people have emailed me, asking what I look like, since
I've never actually been on what I humorously refer to as my
"webcam". Well, okay, no one's asked. What I look like.
But let's pretend, just for the
sake of argument, let's assume that a whole shitload of people
have. Your cries have been heared, for here I am. You can
see where the inspiration for the domain name came from.
No, wait, I'm sorry, that's not my picture, that's crazy
Uncle Joey, the one who burns down buildings because he
loves prison. I'll try to find a pic of me for tomorrow.
In other news,
Solosier posted that balloon movie over on BAMF the
other day. Oddly though, I didn't feel quite so, well,
violated this time, I guess because Solo's goofier.
(opening the door a crack)Me: Skippy that you?
Pizza Guy: Ummm, no.. My name is Sal... I have an order for... ...
Me: Good god man, have you no idea of the danger you are in.. How do I know who you are?
Pizza Guy: Where are you pants? Umm are you wearing only a fisher man's hat?
Me: Ohh my friend you understand so little.. Soo soo little..
CINCINNATI (AP) Some visitors to the Cincinnati Zoo got a closer look at a cheetah than they probably wanted.
Sunday, April 9th,
2000
Saturday, April 8th,
2000 
And today's Piss Off Weishaupt
award goes to Stileproject
for posting that balloon movie I posted last week.
So I thought I'd comment in an open letter to Mr. Stile:
Jay, when you posted that movie, you hurt my feelings. I worked
so hard to find that clip, and then when you posted it as if it
were your own, it made me feel frustrated and invalidated. Dammit,
Jay, don't my feelings count for something? When is it
my turn to feel worthwhile? Didn't our brief but torrid
affair mean anything to you?
UPDATE:
Well I did have the quarter but I just dropped it and it has rolled away under the cube away into some void. So now I'm
hungry and bored. Quick update: just because I love you all
so vewy vewy
much I won't make you go thru napster. So without further ado,
hold your fist up proudly and proclaim, "Yes, Weishaupt, I also
enjoy pr0nographic music" by downloading Flower
by Liz Phair.(1.8MB)
Witness:Oh we try every weekend but no one ever answers
Me: Umm ya well try now they told me that they can't believe that the witnesses never pay them a visit.. They are kinda
hurt by it..
Witness:Ohh goodie, I'll make sure we knock for about 20 mins..
Me:Ya you do that, remember strong loud knocks, get your arm into it.
Friday, April 7th,
2000
Saltine Crackers
Or this
Eodstyle
Caller: Um, I think my computer is broken.
Eod: Okay, what kind of computer is it?
Caller: Blueberry!
Eod: And what seems to be the problem?
Caller: Well, there's a hole in the screen.
Eod: Is there anything sticking out of the
hole?
Caller: Yeah, my hand. And it's all bloody.
Eod: I think you should call 9-1-1 and get an
ambulance.
Caller: That sounds complicated! Could you
walk me
through it on the phone?
Eod: *sigh*
Weishauptstyle
Footbag Groupie: Um, I think my footbag is
broken.
Weis: Put some Shoe Goo on it.
Groupie: Wow, that worked! In return, would
you like
me to get you drunk, or get you high?
Weis: God, these decisions! Why is
everything so
stressful? I can't take it!
Groupie: We could do both.
Weis: Works for me.
Groupie: And after that, would you make
sweet love to me?.
Weis: Waitaminit, aren't you Eod's
girlfriend?
Groupie: Yup.
Weis: Cool.
Thursday, April 6th,
2000
Every man and boy in a small Australian town has been asked to undergo DNA saliva testing after a 91-year-old woman was raped.
I can see some people who like people who are a bit older but 91 come on was she drooling in a chair at the time? Thats just wrong. Bad Aussies..
I was in a chatroom a few nights ago (wow, that's embarassing
to admit. Let's just say I was doing something else, like
fisting young boys) and I ran into someone who swears
he knows the founder of rotten.com, traditional repository of
autopsy photos, deformed young'uns, and so forth. In fact,
my chatroom contact claims that he dines with Mr. Rotten regularly.
Now this is important for two reasons:
Important
Reason 1: I ran across rotten.com a long time ago, and
it had a wonderful impact on me. Mr. Rotten is as culpable
as anyone for the long hours I spend sifting through tons
of run-of-the-mill beastiality and pissing pictures looking
for the little pearls of filth that
I post on here. Thank, Mr. Rotten, I salute thee. And
while I'm on the subject, you should check out Daily Rotten,
as well, for it too kicks ass.
Important
Reason 2: I'm very careful about what pix and clips I
post on here. I try not to post pictures and clips that
have already surfaced on an e/n site, or on any big, well-known
site that our readers are likely to have seen (like Slashdot, Rotten, and so on). I
probably
fuck up sometimes, but that's because I don't
get laid enough (see last post). However, if I'm telling a story
about rotten (as I am in this post)
then I can
post a picture from rotten, and it's not
actually
stealing. I think. And that is why I am now
bringing to you my all-time favorite picture from rotten, the older gentleman
pictured to the left. I especially like the fact that that
creepy nimrod decided to proudly display that shirt at what
appears to be a public function or amusement park or something.
God bless him.
Wednesday, April 5th,
2000
Tuesday, April 4th,
2000 
Well it looks at though Microsoft might be on their way out. I wonder if they end up splitting the company up, what the
smaller ones would be called? The "Baby bills?" kinda like the "Baby Bells?" Well maybe after their split up,
we might start seeing a little bit of Microsoft in just about everything we buy! From car parts to video game systems!
BTW:
If you haven't already, click the above picture for an amusing Bill Gates Shockwave.
- This X-Box system sounds a lot like a computer in disguise! Click the X-Box picture to goto the "Official X-box Site!"
Monday, April, 3rd,
2000 
Well, I said I had more of the video clips your high school
health teacher warned you about, and just like the milkman who
fathered you, here I am deliverin the goods. Click the
lovely lady to go check out Penismightier's newest
future harem member.
A REAL-LIFE Hannibal Lecter turned his jail cell into a sickening slaughterhouse when he gutted and gouged a convicted child abuser, it was revealed yesterday.
Hmm.. Well again I guess here is another benefit of not being confined to a small cell with another person. Read it here.
Wow, sorry I've been away so long. I wish I
had a great reason for not posting for several days, eg locked
up in a turkish prison fighting to retain my anal virginity, but
the truth is I've just been a filthy slacker. I've been working
on that new job, even though they haven't paid me yet (grrrr) and
playing a great deal of hackey, er footbag. I kind of miss having
a 9-5 job that I hated, because at least then I could spend all
day reading e/n sites. Meanwhile, I take this opportunity to
inform you that MoshingSmurf is back up again. Seems Azazel got himself
deleted off of homepage.com for putting up
a picture of *gasp* titties. Go check him out and click
on his pr0n banners if you think he's purty.
Sunday, April, 2nd,
2000 
There is some sort of metal shard sticking out of my lower lip.. I've been trying to figure out where this thing came from, I went to
sleep last night everything seemed normal. All I can remember is waking up on a operating table.. In a white room.. These figures..
with the eyes.. the deep oval eyes.. somehow telling me to relax.. the room.. the pain.. the probe.. Ohh god.. Mmm wait whats that.. Mmm oh jumpin' jesus christ on a
pogo stick.. THE AWFUL PROBE.. Stop the probe..
this is wrong.. very wrong.. this damn probe, withdraw this probe.. they are taking turns with this probe.. They are smiling..
something about making me there bitch.. Then I woke up, it all seemed
a dream but when I went to wipe the drool from my mouth I felt this metal object sticking out of my lip. I'm to scared to goto the authorities,
I'm just hoping whatever it is will not end up being the end of me.
DES MOINES, Iowa –– A man is accused of locking his mother in a closet in her own home for three days and beating her with a belt because she wouldn't give him money.
I hope when I'm 35 that I will need to go beat up my mother for some rent money also. Check out the
story of a 35 year old boy
beating his 59 year old mother for some money.
Saturday, April, 1st,
2000
