I haven't looked through the whole site yet, but go check out Hypermind, there's a ton of cool shit over there. Normally I would just root through it, find the funniest stuff, and post it without telling you where I got it, but a certain webmaster already does enough of that. If you check out that link, you might go to the "Naughties" section and grab the Three's Company animation (they won't let me link directly to it, sorry), it had me rollin.
| Saturday, April 29th, 2000 |
Man oh man. In the past few days, good ol Napster and me have downloaded
every song we can get our thieving little hands on by Cannibal
Corpse. Why didn't someone turn me on to them sooner?
You know why I like them? Sit down and write some song titles.
The worst ones you can imagine. Use the goriest, briefest
poetic images you can muster, but make them kind of corny.
Now go check out their discography. I guarantee one
of your bloody song titles will be an actual song that
Cannibal Corpse has recorded. If you've got good solid
sets of speakers and eardrums, you can grab the (legally
released) tracks Pounded into Dust and Gallery
of Suicide.
In other news, I'm a lame spaz. Sorry I haven't been around with
the a/v goods lately. But I've got tons and tons of...
no I don't, I was lying just now. I don't have a single
entertaining picture, video or link for you. Oh yeah, and
I haven't watched the On the Prowl video at BAMF, that's
how lame I am: I've been waiting for it forever, I downloaded it three
days ago, but I haven't watched it yet. Sound
like the actions of a well man? mmm hmmm. At any rate, I ought
to take this opportunity to reiterate my drunken boast that if
OTP doesn't absolutely own, I will permanently impact
my size twelve army boot in Sharkey's puffy white ass. Ah what
the hell, let's say I'll pork his sister while I'm at it, it's not
like he reads our page.
I'm sitting here at work eatting a very nasty and stale Chalupa, and
checking out a few pages. Anyways I was reading badassmofo and
decided to pass this on to the readers (incase someone actually doesn't
visit bamf)
http://cgi.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=319392299
Location: Home
RING RING RING
Speaking of fucked up devices my capture card which captures images from my webcam is not quite working correctly on this system. So I will end up hooking it up on my GFs computer and will have the webcam back up in a few
I just got done watching Star Wars Episode I on tape (not on dvd cause lucas is a pud) and really that movie is a pile..
SourceWashington Post
Weishaupt handed me this flyer earlier today at the PenIs staff meeting.
I'm sure you've heard of everyone who is suing Napster. Dr. Dre took
time out of his busy day for an interview with me for the PenIs site.
Me: Dr. Dre I'm sure that my question isn't anything new but how as
the popularity of napster effected you?
Source:excite
I just looked at my last post I made at work during a call.. The post
below probably is about my worst post ever. The second worse being the
post before that.. Posting from work always turns into some sort of
disaster.. Course I'm dealing with america's finest..
customer:I hope your ready to finally fucking fix this issue.. I've
called in 11 times about this!
Normally I'm 'johnny customer service', but when your a jerk to me
I can be a jerk right back.
I go away for a few days and Weis is still having his normal problems
closing his center tags. Well good thing I'm back.. Been off working on
my computer trying to get it back to the studly state it once was. So with
my free time (15 mins a day) I:
Installed new video card
So I still got a ways to go til I get the machine back and going. I did
obtain a CDRW for mp3 burning fun and a new video card. (The video card
is the one being the bastard but I guess it didn't help that I dropped it
in the toliet)
There I found a Wise Man.
I asked him to point the way to Enlightenment.
He said, "Get the fuck off my Mountain."
Hmmm. Oh dear oh dear. Why do I always run across something
truly sick and twisted right after my Mom says she'll check out
the page soon??? Well, no matter, no use trying to sugar-coat
things: This is a man who cut off his own scrotum.
Mom, I linked to it, I'm not proud of it, but for the sake of all
that is good and decent in the world, don't click on that link.
Thanks. For the rest of you, well, don't you click on it either.
What the hell's wrong with ya? Sheesh.
Maybe I'm a bit over anal, but check out this..
If you look at the pictures close you may notice when Elian was first taken from his house he had a nice close hair cut and appears to be missing one of his teeth. In the picture of him and his father, his hair cut is different (hair is longer) and he grew that tooth back in. Ahh nevermind these pics are such bad quality you can't tell, but you never know..
Ahh fuck it what do I care.. I'm glad he finally left, it was getting to be a bit to much with the media freaking out over it.
Sorry I haven't been around much lately, I've been spending
pointless hours solving the goofy little hacking puzzles at
Zebulun. But while I've been away, I'd just like to ask
someone, What the fuck happened to Stileproject in the
last couple of days? Up until a couple days ago, all
seemed normal. Then he goes off on that insane rant about the
Josef guy, who wasn't particularly funny, and another fake
hacking by mafiaboy, and now there seem to be posts from a
bunch of random people: Misanthropic Bitch and Sharkey for
example. Which is all well and good I suppose, because that
Misanthropic Bitch's posts are hilarious, so I'm not
complaining, I'm just asking wtf?
I spend about an average of 9+ hours a day on the internet at work (hey its my job). I've come across all sorts of sites and places. Each day I tend to find some sort of new bit of information. I think these following images make the internet what it really is. With all the information it supposedly offers this stuff below is all that people want.
Source:telegraph
Robert Plumb, 56, attacked Glenys, his wife of 30 years, with a 12 in
kitchen knife, slashing at her neck and hands as she tried to fight him
off. He continued the assault after the couple's daughter hit him over the
head with a bottle of salad cream and was eventually dragged away by a
neighbour.
Yes folks today is 4/20.. 420, and just a second ago it was 4:20pm on 4/20
but I was driving on the 405 sitting in traffic, cursing the Oregon
freeway layout..
I decided to compile some 420 links, starting for the newbies with some etiquette.
If your gonna make a search on 420 goods make sure you dial 10-10-420. Its important to know your history and play it safe when peeing. Remember folks they are not bongs they are
water pipes. So
know your facts and have fun. And have a hairy, sticky... 420.
Here's a little info for y'all. You know when somebody says,
"You're the man," or "He's the man," or whatever?
Well, they're wrong.
If you see him, just bow down. Thanks to him, me and Weis solved our
VT-100/ANSI problems, and got to bring back some old skool memories.
And with any luck, this could soon turn into a service for you, the
loving PenIs public.
Wherever you are, Andrew, Thanks. You've taught us all how to love.
Do it now
Me: So what inspired you to start your beastiality cam?
You heard it folks, keep watch for more developments in the Beasty Cam..
in other new today, abuja unveiled the world's
largest mosquito net today. (if you were too lazy to click on the
link, abuja is the capitol of nigeria. you know, in africa. that
really big continent?!) anyway, it's really nice to distribute nets
and raise awareness and what-not. maybe they can eventually use some of
that money toward finding a cure for or at least a combatant against
malaria slightly better than a net, instead of for fundraising events. to
me, the nets are a bit of a gift horse. it's not as bad as distributing
blankets riddled with the plague, but it's still not quite on par with,
say, giving proceeds toward malaria research, or setting up a hospital
with qualified people to enforce quarantine, take samples of the disease,
and of blood of those who seem to be immune... but alas, i'm an
idealist.
Oh crap! Nothing like the affects of taking a few No Doz in the morning before class. The feeling of
pressure building up in your lower intestines until you just can't hold it. Then the immediate
exit of class to visit the good old men's room until all tense bowel muscles have relaxed... Ahhhh what
a good feeling.
Anyways, to answer Weis's question about how it feels to be turned down by ugly chicks.... Well that happened
had to do with with these three chicks, or at least what I thought where chicks.
Oops! Little unplanned absence. No particularly good excuse,
either. Been an uneventful couple of days. Actually, it's been
an uneventful couple of weeks. To tell the truth, the past four months
have been pretty slow. No, thinking it over, I'm gonna say the whole
last year and a half. But before that, something interesting definitely
happened to me. No, wait. I got laid six months ago, I guess that
counts.
Meanwhile, between me and Eod, the Crapper
is getting quite a workout lately. Here's my most recent addition:
Those people just confuse me. And might I say, I've
never seen a Pen looking less Mighty. But beyond the mere shock value
of this clip, I view it as an artistic statement expressing the
frustration of the agressive male forced to take the humiliating passive
role in negotiating sexual relations. Ladies, think of this clip as a
metaphor
for what a guy feels like when you shoot him down. But only if you're
really hot.
Getting shot down by an average looking chick feels more like a
kick in the shins. I'm not sure what it feels like to be shot down by
an ugly chick. Josh? Wanna
field that one?
Hey hey hey, kids, I jsut figured out how to use my ftp utility. So I thought I'd
post a little something. I really have very little to say, what with the boring
life I have. However:
First, a public service message: If you are going to kill yourself on the Tokyo subway system by jumping in front of a train,
please refrain from doing so during peak hours. Do it during lunch. Otherwise, if you go platform
diving at 7:00 am like someone did this morning, I have to wait an hour for a train and then fight with nine million
rabid salarymen for breath packed into a train like salarymen packed into a train, with some guy's combover
blowing around an inch from my nose. Thank you for your cooperation.
Second, if you know of a way to run an ms-dos application in a window that can display ANSI/VT100 characters,
then please mail me. Modifying the ms-dos window to display control characters
would work, as would running the app through some sort of term utility. Again, Thank you for your cooperation.
Finally, I am working on some backend stuff here at PenIs. Then, when I'm done with that, I'll do some work on
the page. HA HA! I love that. Anyway, I won't get it up for a little while (guffaw), but beat the crowds by downloading
the Macromedia Flash Player
now, if you haven't already.
Again, Thank you.
Source:Boston Globe
Dr. Stephen Pack, 44, a resident of the posh Westchester community of Chappaqua, reportedly had been romantically involved with the woman, who was pregnant, police and television reports said. He was charged with assault, said police spokesman Alan Krawitz.
Pack is married and the syringe attack apparently was his attempt to abort the 6-week-old fetus by injecting the woman with a fluid possibly a substance used to induce labor or cause an abortion, local television reports said.
i don't know where you found this guy, eod, but he had better
give back
my face before things get really wierd. you don't
know how odd it is to click a random
link
and see yourself, not on tv lookin' all buff, but on some website
lookin' all goth. well, until weishaupt gets his crappy webcam up
and running, this is the closest thing to a cydpic you PenIsites are
going to get.
Time: 30 mins before work
Me: (rushing from shower to grab the phone) Hello?
Josh: Hey what are you doing?
Me: Fuck I was in the shower I thought it was someone important
Josh: Hey.. I was walking by our apt and noticed you have a package at your door
Me: (Moving towards the door with just a towel on) Oh cool.. (open the door and there is Josh standing
there on his cellphone with a shit eatting grin)
Josh: Why don't you have any clothes on?
Me: Cause I don't shower with my clothes on.. Why are you standing in my door way?
Josh:Can I come in?
Me:When I put some clothes on.. Yes..
Josh:Then what would be the point of me cumming in?
Me:Umm dude go play with your cat..
I'm back in action with my home computer so now I can do some more regular updates. I really didn't have to do anything on the computer, Josh was nice enough to download all the patches and updates while I was at work, take my computer to his place, get it running, bring it back, hook it up, clean up my desk, and organize the cables. Don't worry I messed the desk right back up and twisted all the cables back into a nice jumble, I'm still working on fucking one of my devices up on my computer so things can kinda be back to normal.
Thursday, April 27th,
2000
ATLANTA –– Cheap beer is a leading contributor to the spread of
sexually transmitted diseases, according to a government
report that says
raising the tax on a six-pack by 20 cents could
reduce gonorrhea by up to
9 percent.
Gonorrhea, one of the most common venereal diseases, was examined
in
the CDC study because long-term statistics are available
and the disease
is more evenly spread among states.
The CDC analyzed the drops in gonorrhea rates following
different tax
increases and came up with the estimate that 20-cent
increase per
six-pack would lead to a 9 percent drop in
gonorrhea rates.
Aparently he's hostin this little event at his place this year.
I would
have gone if I didn't have a girlfriend, oh well! maybe next year eh?
BTW: if YOU would like to attend this years meeting be sure to mail him
to RSVP and possibly meet Rimmo the clown!
Wensday, April 26th,
2000
Dr. Dre:How? My last album was "The Chronic"/
They want to know if he still got it/
They say rap's changed, they want to know how I feel about it/
Me:Actually I don't really care how you feel about it. I want
to
know about this Napster thing.
Dr. Dre:I think my friend Snoop could better field this
question
SnoopIt's like this and like that and like this and uh/
It's like this, and we ain't got no love for those/
So jus' chill, 'til the next episode.
Me:Ummm ok.. Anything you guys would like to say about how Napster
has effected you in the music industry?
Snoop: Yes I would like to say: I'm representing for them gangstas
all across the world/
Still hitting them corners in them low low's girl
Dr. Dre:
Still taking my time to perfect the beat/
And I still got love for the streets, it's the D-R-E
Snoop:Like that, right back up in ya/
'95 plus four pennies/
Add that shit up, D-R-E right back on top of thangs/
Smoke some with your dog/
No stress, no seeds, no stims, no sticks!/
Some of that real sticky icky/
A little weed, put it in the air/
Me: You guys have no idea what napster is do you?
Dr. Dre: .....
Me: Well.. Do you?
Dr. Dre: Umm well no..
LONDON (Reuters) - A five-year-old boy has set an unlikely new British
record -- becoming the country's youngest known mugger.
Police in South Yorkshire said the boy had been stopped along with a
nine-year-old companion after mugging a woman in her 70s in Mexborough
Sunday afternoon.
"The boys have since been given a good talking-to by police," a police
spokesman said. "At the age of five, it must be a new record."
me: Alright sir please calm down, what can I help you with
customer:You can fucking fix this! Thats what! I can't believe
this shit!
me:Well your going to need to be alittle more descriptive
customer:No, I don't need to be more descriptive.. What you need
to do is fix this!
me:Sir how am I suppose to know what this is? Are you
referring to your connection?
customer:NO! God your suppose to be a Senior Tech? I can't believe
your trying to rob me like this
me:I'm going to need you to describe to me what is happening.
customer:When I fucking open netscape it opens in a half screen
me:Does it give you an error message?
customer:No!! aren't you listening!? I have to click 'the box
thingy' to have it open to the full screen!
me: The maximize button?
customer: WHATEVER!
me:Your serious.. You've called in 11 times about this and been
escalated up to a Senior tech over having to make an extra click?
customer:Your company is about this close a class action suit.
me: Really? How close?
customer: Wha.. why.. Why you little punk! Whats your fucking
name!
me: Name's Dick...
Tuesday, April 25th,
2000
Installed drivers
Watched computer lock up
Swore at computer
reinstalled drivers
watched it do the same thing
reformatted machine and reinstalled win98se and reinstalled drivers
watched it do the same thing
jabbed pencil into disk drive
While walking to get more pencils tripped over cat
landed on pencil
Removed pencil from eye sockets
passed out from pain
woke up but was now blind
swore again
tried to work more on the computer but accomplished nothing more than
swinging my arms randomly in the air
went to bedI climbed to the top of the Mountain.
Monday, April 24th,
2000
Sunday, April 23rd,
2000 
Saturday, April 22nd,
2000
Friday, April 21th,
2000 
image 1--
image 2--
image 3--
image 4--
image 5
Thursday, April 20th,
2000
A REFORMED smoker repeatedly stabbed his wife in the neck after finding
out that she had broken her promise to give up, a court was told
yesterday.
I think I'd try the patch first before trying the old knife in the neck
bit. But I've heard amazing results with the "knife in the neck" bit..
Read more
Wensday, April 19th,
2000
Andrew Wendt
This guy is the man!!!!
I'm sorry to bring this to your attention. I know that Josh
shares a special, very perverted bond with his feline friend, but
it appears that the cat in question doesn't take things quite
so seriously. Josh, I'm sorry to tell you this, but your cat
is easy. Easy, easy, easy, and sleazy, a harlot. Not only sleazy
but slutty, a lit bit of catnip and you're in, know what I mean,
nudge nudge, wink wink. A right whore. That's right, this promiscuous
pussycat, this licentious little bit of tail, this feline lady of
the evening, has been spreading it around town wherever she can.
Just look at the shameless little hussy with the bulldog from
down the block. I'm sorry to have had to inform you of your
cat's amoral wanderings, but I hope it helped coming from a friend.
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now
If you've been watching Josh on the cams page lately you may have noticed that he and his cat have been getting a little closer. Some may call it puppy love, I call it sick.
Josh: Well I really wanted the attention that cam girls get but I had to throw a sexual twist into my cam. Since the Hanson girls where not avaiable, I did a alittle research and did you know that 6 out of 7 americans from the mid west prefer animals to humans.. Thats a large amount..
Me: Amazing..
Josh: Yes and cats are quite flexible. It just feels right... Right here (Josh points to his heart then breaking into a slight grin) And feels good here too.. (pointing to his groin)
Me: I see..
Me: So you plan on charging for your bestiality cam?
Josh: No.. Eddie and I feel something this beautiful should be shared for the rest o the world to see.
Me: What can people expect to see on the cam?
Josh: Well Eddie, being a cat, likes to vomit on things, poo in corners, and piss on clothing/bookbags. So eddie really covers a wide field of fetishs. I'm just his bitch.
Me: I see, what are your future plans for Josh's Beasty Cam?
Josh: As you can see, I've gotten a nightvision camera also, since Eddie can be quite frisky at night.
Me: When can people expect to see you two lovers on the cam?
Josh: We are still working out times but whenever we can we flip it on. Eddie loves to show off.
Me: Any future plans for you and Eddie the cat?
Josh: Well eddie's biological clock has been ticking for a litter of kittens. Well have to see about that
Eddie: Maarrrooww
Josh: As you can hear we have some things to discuss.. (Get back under there kitty)
Tuesday, April 18th,
2000
Monday, April 17th,
2000
The part that hurt the most wasn't the feeling of being rejected by three ugly chicks, it was
later when I found out that they where guys!!!! Now that was a long time ago, and in more desperate times (like
when I couldn't find a date to the school dance.) I think I have better judgment now though, I try to hit on girls who don't have
penis's, and who have more or less 'breasts'.
Please Mistress, may I have another?
(kick in the wee
ones)
Sunday, April 16th,
2000
NEW YORK (AP) A Westchester County doctor attacked a nurse by stabbing her six times with a syringe outside a Bronx hospital, police reported Saturday.
Read rest here
