Subject:What about the Fridge?
So did you succeed in switching or what?
I read your board often for diversion. PenIs and memepool.com are daily destinations.
I haven't a clue why while sitting on my friend's porch this morning, I was suddenly possesed with the need to find out what happened with the fridge.What happened?
-Fred Savage
After my trip to U-Haul to rent the Dolly of Heavyness I was called into work. Lucky Weis and my GF decided to take the task upon themselves and did the fridge swap. Judging from the state of the cupboards they had to do alittle cutting with a Gensu knife to get the fridge to fit.
In case you forgot about the whole Fridge ordeal.. We've had the worst fridge in the whole apartment complex, which our landlord would give some sort of excuse and every other week would stop by and pretend to swap a part. (I'm not fucking stupid here Mr Wedge, I watched you do nothing and then lie, telling us it should be fixed.) So we rented a Dolly and when our neighbor moved out, we swapped the fridge before someone new moved in. This is defined as "PenIs Brand of Justice(tm)"
Old Fridge:
The Old Fridge on its best day, best day being defined as nobody opening the door and the moons where in alignment, it would weight in at around a little below room temp. Room Temp being around 65F.. The Freezer section froze stuff, it froze stuff with a nice 2 inch layer of ice around anything that was put in there. If you forgot to open it and hack away at the ice well.. You pretty much had one giant ice cube with frozen TV dinners in the middle.
New Fridge:
Anyone want a cold beer? Cause we have COLD beer.. Want some spoiled food? You need to go next door where we swapped the old fridge cause our food no longer spoils after 24 hours.. Ice Cubes? YES WE CAN MAKE ICE CUBES! It's been close to a year since I've been able to make ice water at home.. Don't get me started on how much extra space we have.. We where thinking of hanging a whole dead cow in this mutha. This new fridge is huge..
| Thursday, June 29, 2000 |
Moxie has submitted various PenIs submissions and just odd stories. Recently submitted this his best submission yet.. I think it's great..
Also new submissions posted today.
and Blizzard released Diablo II today.. According to a rumor, they wanted to release Diablo II to PenIsMightier, as a contest submission..
Got more dumb pics for you filthy preverts. Sorry, but I'm too tired
to be going about the tedious thumbing process, you'll have to make
do with mystery pictures:
There. That's it. That's all yer gettin from me. Ah, who am I kidding? I love the PenIsItes too much, in a codependent, abusive family sort of way.
In other news, today was my second day on the new job. God training is
boring. On the upside, the job is pretty sweet - I only have to support
webmaster and sysadmin types, not end (l)users. Furthermore, they seem to
spend alot on employees - I got about a metric ton of
free logo-ed trinkets, and a rather large nerf gun (for inter-departmental
use, I gather) yesterday. Today, they sent me a gift basket in the mail.
Is that a normal thing to do for new hires? At any rate, this whole
working-eight-hours-a-day thing is wearisome, but my computer ain't
upgradin itself.
Ever notice that you sit, writing some emails, making a few posts and you still have too shower before going to classes. You have about 5 mins before you know there is no chance you can be on time. And your wasting those very 5 mins making this post.. I just pretend I'm on some crazy game show and I only have 60 seconds to take a shower and get dressed. IT's funny to see me run around trying to get ready except the prize is normally a day full of crap
Got a few new submissions up, even have a few more I haven't put up.. A lot of edited Penis pictures, anyone thought possibly of a Pen Is picture? Or video.. Or story.. Or glasses blown pipe? Anything goes for this contest not just jpg's.. So submit anything you want.. but the jpg's are cool. And thanks to everyone who has already submitted.
Reader mail
Hi Eod,
WHAT THE HELL IS GRIMACE?!?!?!?
Growing up, I never paid attention! Of course Ronald McDonald was a clown or
mime, Birdie was just a girl bird who liked burgers and who could forget the
Hamburglar? The cute liitle thief who couldn't resist the temptation for
those delicious soybean burgers, so much so he had to sneak them. (I always
thought him and "Wimpy" from Popeye should team up for a heist) But what is
Grimace? He's just Grimace!
Is he a distant relative of Barney? An animated gumdrop candy? Perhaps a he
is the embodiment of a shit the morning after getting tanked on PJ??
I have to know! Please respond soon, my sanity depends on it! - Moxie
1) No more original PenIs! Anyone will simply be able to go out and get an imitation!
The point of this stupid post is, Now that we have the "roadmap," what happens when someone takes a wrong turn?
What would you do if someone wanted to clone YOUR PenIs?
Today was my day of courtroom fun.. Many of you know I was pulled over for doing 80mph in a 50mph zone, which is 30 over the limit, which is considered reckless driving. Luckily the officer went easy on me and gave me a ticket for speeding that was $175 and took me into the bushes for 15 mins.. I went to court to dispute the $175 fine and my day went a little something like this.
7:00pm - Wake up, shower, shave and take out piercings
Clerk: Hey hun.. (gum smack) How do you plead?
So I accept my fine.. Insurance may freak out... I'll just have to deal with it..
New submissions added.. Remember we will except anything as a submission.. Writings, videos, money, pictures, web cam images, slave labor.. Whatever your little heart can dream up, so lets see what ya got.. This is your chance to shine, don't ruin it with drugs.. Wait.. err..
Oh, woe is you. No updates all day on a lazy Sunday. You poor, poor
bastards. For those that haven't noticed, Eod's webcam has been on 30
second updates all day, capturing the fascinating melodrama that is our
day-to-day lives. As some of you newcomers may not know, Eod and I
reside in contiguous apartments, and Josh lives down the street (we'll
let you move back to the cool building when you learn to display a proper respect for
hygiene). Hence, we all end up hanging out together. A close examination
of Eod's webcam today would have revealed: * Eod, Eod's gf, and myself
assisting our other neighbors in moving out
Looks like yesterday was quite a day for me. From my inbox:
From e-cole:
So what do you do when your fridgerator doesn't work? Well most people would call the landlord and have them take a look at it.. And we like most people have contacted our landlord about 10 times, and each time he or his handyman came by fucked around with it and would tell us shit like
"Leave it unplugged for a couple days then plug it in"
"Try defrosting the ice box and putting everything back in"
"You’re closing the door right?"
Stupid shit like that.. Course where do you store your food during this time? You either throw it out and invade your friend's and neighbor's fridge and fill them up with your stuff.. We have followed all of the landlord’s crazy instructions.. Nothing.. It is now time to take the law into our own hands, and deal out a PenIs brand of justice..
BTW a new submission was added. Keep them coming in..
I'm back... again. Just when you thought you'd gotten rid of me. Why do you keep taking me back? Because of the mighty pen, that's why. Eod, great idea on the contest, I likey-likey. In fact I might even enter myself, since I'm too embarassed to actually purchase my own nipple clamps. Meanwhile, I've been stuck inside the proverbial over-turned outhouse for the last week or so. My ISP is letting the chimps run loose in the router room, so with my net service acting shittily, I've been out in the real world getting sunburned. Also, I have a job interview in two hours, because I thought it would be kind of fun to not get kicked out of my apartment. We've got lots of ideas for the coming weeks on the site, so keep your eyes peeled. The contest is just the beginning. But all that's in the future. What we need now is some instant gratification.
This comes from a section of NAMBLA
where various teenagers can show there support for man/boy relationships.
I'm a 14-year-old boy who would like to speak out in favor of man-boy relationships.
Like most poor-income families from the Philadelphia area, I started to hustle for spending
money when I was 12 years old. Most of the kids were doing it, and they could make an easy
$20 or $30 during the weekend.
Most of the time I would just hang around the big Art Museum until
I noticed a guy looking at me. Most of the men who picked me up just
wanted to have oral sex with me, or maybe have me lay on top of them.
As soon as they were finished, they couldn't wait to ditch me. It was so
damn cold and impersonal. My home life was terrible, as my stepmother didn't
really care if I came home or not. One night I went with this guy who raped
me pretty bad. He made me bleed something awful. He refused to give me a dime,
and said he had taught me a lesson. Errr.. ookay.. Let me explain,
my GF heard about a organization called nambla
which stands for North American Man/Boy Love Association.. No joke this place actually excists.
She thought the guy was full of shit.. Sure enough its a real organization,
I thought I was pretty current on wierd shit happening in america... but looks like
I find something new everyday..
Why should you submit? Well you greedy bastards, there are prizes..
1st place -- A pair of nipple clamps.. (no joke.. real nipple clamps)
Not only do you get the chance to win a prize but you get a chance to show whatever you want to show of yourself on PenIs.. As submissions roll in I'll be putting them up on a special link..
Check out contest rules here
I put together a little page for my car here.. Check it out.. Come on.. You know you wanna..
Email
A few months ago, I began reading your web page. I think your views on life are excellent, and you give me a reason for livingout 6 of my teeth with a cinder block. Recently, my uncle offered me money for dentures if I make a website and it gets lots of hits. If you wouldn't mind, could you please visit my website? It would make me very happy. Thank you for the wonderful material on the website.
r the wonderful material on the website.
Sincerely,
Marla Morgendorfer
http://www.geocities.com/marlamorgendorfer/index.html
Sigh... I must excuse the lack of updates from the PenIs posters.. They seem to have all lost the drive to post all at once.. Myself I just started my summer quarter of school on top of moving up a slight bit at work would love to be able to post but I'm a bit bound by time constrants. But.. I have a plan.. I've dusted off my Casiopeia palmtop and will be trying to update from school and work via the palmtop. Will it work? I doubt it.. Worth a try? Sure why not.. Hey I can do it.. I did it before.. I got PenIs power... Well I have a bottle of NoDoz.. Who needs sleep? Not I..
Been pretty busy with school and work coming back at full steam.. I'll keep this short... Weis and Cyd still have no connection.. There was a party at Weis's place.. I saw some people spill beers.. We are cooking up some brand new PenIs stuff.. Really.. Seriously we are... Watch you'll see..
Started my summer quarter of classes yesterday, had a whole week off between spring and summer quarter. This quarter, instead of driving, I decided "Hey I'll save the $300 needed for a parking pass and I'll take the bus", using the left over money towards fines and tickets.. Its been a while since I have taken the bus..
1) Just because normally when you ride the 9 half the bus is PSU students.. Don't assume that today is normal.. Remember: You must pull the bell for the bus to stop or it buzzes right past school and about half a mile away.
So next monday I'll be riding my bicycle to school...
Man! Almost didn't get a post in today!
You can read about more frat misfortunes
here.
I hoed about 50-45... feet of garden behind the apartment today.. Our little garden runs right by Weishaupt's and Cyd's bedroom windows. Allowing me prime shots of Weishaupt's pile of clothes in the corner and a mattress in the other. After peering in his window for about 10 mins, I stepped out of the muddy dirt and decided to pay him a visit. I carefully removed the screen from the window, and opened the window about 3 feet. Boosted myself up and in I go.. Did I mention I'm wearing nothing but an old pair of Nike running shoes and a tank top? Huh.. Oh well I was, I always forget little details like that.. Once inside Weishaupt's room I noticed that my tank top was not up to par and was quite dirty.. I can't show up with a dirty shirt.. What would they think of me? I know what they would think of me.. They would think "That Eod, he is a fucking freak, did you see that dirty tank top he had on?" I removed my tank top and grabbed a well used t-shirt from Weishaupt's pile of clothes. I remember the sign on the door from the old video arcade I used to work at.. "No shirt No shoes No service".. Welp got my shirt and got my shoes.. Now time for the Service..
I walk into the downstairs living room and chime "Hi guys!".
Wensday, June 28, 2000
I consider myself to be a pretty sharp fellow often using common sense and
deductive reasoning to sort out problems. When that fails, I turn to books
or the net to provide the facts for my questions. Recently I stumbled onto a
site that has left an indellible chasm in what I consider to be the very
essence of time, space and reality. A very simple yet perplexing question
was offered which I can not answer definitively. I have not slept for three
days as a result of continuous and excrutiating ponderances. So I am at the
point now that I have no other recourse than to ask the master
himself....you Eod.
Tuesday, June 27, 2000
Well folks it looks like the scientists of planet earth have finally risen to the status of
GOD! If you've watched or read any news for the last couple days, you already know that
scientists have finally mapped the whole human genome. What does that mean for our fellow PenIs
readers?
2) People like me can alter their genes to become a better writer. (HAHA)
3) Certain death to everyone once that little super-virus has been created by some lamo who copies
the 12 Monkeys idea! (is it 12 monkeys? or was it 8? or 7??)
7:15pm - Tried to figure out where I keep my ties and check the net on how to tie one
7:30pm - Since I actually don't own a tie, tucking in my shirt will have to do
7:45pm - Caught bus to downtown
7:50pm - Make my way through a line of protesters outside the courthouse
7:55pm - Get patted down by security.. Set off the metal detector 5 times..
8:00pm - Lining up for my court hearing
8:05pm - A lot of shady people in line.. Most of them yelling random things..
8:15pm - Still lined up for my court hearing
8:16pm - Crazy crack lady next to me in line begins to freak out and scream
8:17pm - Crazy lady is still muttering to herself but something shiny in the corner has distracted her
8:20pm - I notice I'm in the wrong line all together and the traffic dispute line is on the other side
8:25pm - As the line moves quickly, I approach the clerk
Me: Umm Well.. It's kind of funny you see.. When I was.. Driving..
Clerk: Yeah yeah yeah.. Guilty? or Not Guilty
Me: Well, there is no disputing I was actually driving at 80mph at the...
Clerk: ok Fine guilty.. You want to contest it?
Me: ummm
Clerk: Look here.. I you accept guilty we will knock off $40 from the ticket.. If you think your perry mason try your luck with the judge but you better have one damn good excuse
Me: Guilty it is..
Monday, June 26, 2000
Oh, piteous, piteous day. It is my sad duty to inform you that
I have accepted a new job today. Starting tomorrow, there'll be
no more wasting the entire day playing footbag; no more lazy
mornings spent browsing porn in my undies; no more starting the
day off with a pint of whiskey and a two-hour bout of violent
masturbation. Sucks to be me. On the upside, this means I might
start posting during daylight hours a little more frequently.
The salary's not bad (until I can support myself from PenIs
t-shirt sales), but I will be sharing Eod's pain in the wonderful world
of phone tech-support. Meanwhile, I'm working on an article
on the wonders of gnutella, look for that in the
next few days. For now, I have to get going, so I can enjoy
my last day of hackey-sack as a free man.
Sunday, June 25, 2000
* Eod assisting myself
in washing my car (a momentous occasion in itself)
* Eod, myself, Eod's gf,
and our soon-to-be ex-neighbor Heather eating dinner One other thing - only a rumor though. We've talked about
adding another poster here, and I heard that a c3rtain p3rson who shut down
his own site some time ago, might be interested. Kick ass.
Saturday, June 24, 2000
Yee-ha, I'm famous. Anyone know what channel this was on? At any rate,
I certainly didn't see it; at 11:00 PM last night I was attempting to
staunch the flow of blood from numerous cuts and contusions on my right
hand. I received these cuts when I was attacked, for no apparent
reason, by a homeless man wielding a carpet knife. Fortunately I was
able to defeat him by putting my +2/+4 foot in his ass. My friend and I
went to a bar to get some bandaids, and ended up staying there and drinking
all night. Then, on the way home, another homeless man (in an unrelated incident) gave me a sack full of porno magazines. Once again, for no reason.
Strange Days. There's more I'd go into, but I got some reading to
catch up on...
hey weishaupt man, i read your stupid page every day even though its
thoroughly stupid and i hate it. just writing to tell you you were on
the pdx news last nite at 11. your the one that plays hackey sack in
a wifebeater right? anyways you were on pioneer square jumpin around so
i hope you were playing hackeysack.
Meet Dolly.. Dolly is going to help us pull off a little switch. Dolly came from U-Haul for 7 dollars a day.. Dolly was a bitch to fit in my car.. Dolly made me swear while I was loading her heavy ass into my car right off Sandy Blvd while cars where whizzing by me.. Dolly, is a special dolly, Dolly is designed to move appliances.. Like Fridgerators.. Our neighbor who stored our food, has a wonderful fridge.. It even.. Get this.. It's gonna be a shocker.. KEEPS THINGS COLD! None of this alittle colder than room temp stuff like ours.. It actually keeps things cold! Since they are moving out, during the move we plan to pull the ol' switcheroo of fridges and none will be the wiser.. err.. I hope.. 
Recently secuirty at our job has become... well.. security guards.. They now have to search all bags that come in and any eletronic device found during this process will require a pass.. Not only does this make coming into work, with 30 seconds to spare before your considered late.. well.. impossible.. its a big hassle.. Example:
I leave the office real quick to get some Taco Bell, I race back because time is a factor and I don't really want anyone to notice I slipped out.. As I enter the building.. Security has to search my damn Taco Bell bag.. WTF he looks in my Chalupa, my Mexi Nuggets, even the top of the drink..
Friday, June 23, 2000
Like Woodstock for losers
Asians like weird porn
Makes me hungry...
Dead Smurf
Why do people do things like this?
Lesbian Olympics!
Fly sex
I said sit on my face
Run away!
We got our first submission tonight.
So looks like the contest is offically on it's way.
Remember to send those pictures in.. Check out the contest
info on the right bar.
Thursday, June 22nd,
2000 
Thats right folks.. A new PenIs contest.. The rules are simple. Do something orginal and PenIs related.. Take a picture of it, film it, or possible tell a story of it. Picture is better proof but anything goes. Do something orginal, hell take a picture of your grama's arm flaps and send it in.. Wanna know more? check out the offical PenIs contest page here
2nd place -- A PenIs teeshirt (yes a real PenIs teeshirt fresh off the press.. pics later)
3rd place -- A Bottle of NoDoz, signed by the NoDoz popping Staff
From:marlamorgendorfer@hotmail.com
To:Eod..
Subject: Help Marla Morgendorfer
Dear Eod,
Wensday, June 21st,
2000
complete guide on laying girls ---- Josh age 5
Monday, June 19th,
2000
2) Nobody normal likes to ride the bus.. Everyone has some sort of weird on the bus.. including you.. yes you..
3) Helping the little girl with downsyndrom and half her head shaved find her bus.. Don't... You'll end up missing your bus and once she finds her bus, she won't board it
4) Don't assume that the bus will stop at the same location just because it has for the past year.. They like to move things, like down two blocks..
"Hell Week," the week before initiation, is a pretty much
round-the-clock regimen of paddlings, forced calisthenics, binge/purge drinking and other
less savory practices. Sleep is almost unheard of. Thus it was no surprise when one drowsy
Alpha Omega Lambda pledge was killed when he nodded off at the wheel of his car and rolled
it on a Maryland road. What remained unexplained is why he was wearing a Playboy Bunny
costume at the time.
Sunday, June 18th,
2000
Cyd: Wow.. What the.. How did you get in here?
(I noticed Cyd covering up a small baggy with a magazine)
Me:Came through Weis's window.. Hey whats that green stuff you got there.. Oh wow are you guys doing what I think your doing? Count me in!
Weishaupt:Umm my window was closed
Eod: It sure was closed.. It sticks a bit also, but it wasn't locked..
Weishaupt: Ummm, don't mean to point out the obvious but where are your pants?
Me: Ohh I dunno.. I think they are outside
Weishaupt: Is that my cum rag shirt?
Me: (looking down) Looks like it! So... We gonna do alittle toasty roasty?
Cyd:Umm we are..
Me: Hey I'll match you guys.. You load first I got some here in my pants pocket..
Weis: Again your not wearing any pants
Damn these guys are smart.. I think they're on to me and the heat is on. Ohh no.. cyd looking at me.. Not in that hot sexy way but in that evil cyd way.. I run at full speed back through weishaupt's room and back out the window. Damn that was close.. Time to get back to hoeing..
