Hey Eod, whozat on yer cam? She's pretty hot. And I'm, um, really desperate. I've heard chicks like that.

i was at work on tuesday, looking out the windows wishing i could be out in the 55 degree sunny weather, when i decided it was time to no longer sit. i got out of the office, on official business, of course, and soaked some rays into my alabaster skin. it was about 4:15, and the sun was setting on the first day of winter. i was driving, and so enthralled with the sunset, i had to snap myself back and start paying attention to the road. i went to make a lane change, and looked over my shoulder... and almost ran into the car in front of me. it was sooo beautiful. the moon was rising from the horizon, a larger than life ball of dull fiery red. it was rising through tendrils of clouds catching the pinks, oranges and purples of the last moments of the sunset. it looked like the cover of a fantasy fiction novel. i had to pull over to watch it. then, it hit me. a moment of clarity. i had almost missed the moonrise for trying to glean all i could from the departiung sun. this was quite applicable to a personal situation with a certain feminine exquisite creature, that i was breathless, and had experienced a positive paradigm shift. so, PenIsites, don't miss the growing glory for the departing beauty. :)

What's up with Stileproject these days? First he posts a fake snuff clip and openly mocks people who are taken in by it, and then he posts another fake snuff clip and gets all high and mighty about removing the link. Most of my friends think its because he's selling out to the advertisers, although I personally think it's because he showed his page to some chick he wants to nail, and she nagged him into softening up. At any rate, two comments regarding the whole shebang:

1. That video has been around for ages, and it's not hard to find. Save all that "Should I or shouldn't I allow my poor readers to see this filth" build-up for a new clip. If someone deserves shame or glory for posting it, it's the people in alt.binaries.pictures.grotesque.

2. Stile said it took "balls of steel" for Judgecal to display the fake snuff clip on his show. Nonsense. You wanna read something that took real courage to share with the world, go check out Bence's story about shitting on himself.

Now wouldn't it be fun to accidentally walk in on this?

Ahh Shit! I just love getting off of work at 1:00am. Nice! (That's very fucking Sarcastic!) It's been a long day at work. The highlight was when some people came running in screaming to call the police, there was some fight going on outside in the parking lot. I thought hey cool! a fight! so I ran outside to cheer when I saw some fucking idiot jumping up and down on top of some chicks car yelling something about what a stupid ride she had. Then he jumped down and grabbed the girl and started screaming at her. In the process his pager fell under the back end of the car. What was really funny was when she started pulling out of the parking spot he thought it would be a good time to get under the back of the car. What a great site, a car with it's backup lights on, and a stupid idiot on the ground behind it! "Safe, Very Safe!"

Hey, has anyone seen "The Red Violin?" I just saw it last night and I thought it was pretty good. If yeah have nothing to do you should rent it.

Wensday, December 22, 1999

Throw away those soap shoes, there's something even gayer on the market just in time for the holidays! Available at FAO Schwarz (Is that german for FAO penis?), the Street Flyers can deploy little rollerblade wheels from the soles. What a wonderful idea. Notice that the wheels only stick out a half-inch or so below the shoe. That way, once your child builds up a respectable downhill velocity, the first patch of uneven terrain he encounters will catch on the bottom of the shoe. This will trip your toddler and send him flying head-first into a bridge abutment, thus depriving the world of another moron. Merry Christmas!

Back by popular demand, I got some more pix from Sarah, the girl that (still) isn't screwing me at work. Just one more day to drag me into the handicapped bathroom and make a man outta me, Sarah! Click the pic to see some of the folks at her Halloween party this year.

This just happened a moment ago. I'm waitin for the down elevator so I can catch a quick cig before work, and this blind guy who works in the building walks up just as some woman he knows does. The blind dude says, "Going up?" because, obviously, he can't tell the up Ding from the down Ding. The woman gives him a bad look (which he didn't notice) like she doesn't like him and says, "Yeah, wish I weren't." So the blind guy says, "Yeah? Rather be going down, huh?" and the woman gives this little infuriated scream and starts hitting him with his white cane. Swear to god. I wish the elevator had taken a little longer, I wanted to see who won.

Nice job on the site, eod, lookin better and better. Later today I'll reward you with more pics of that Sarah girl from work. Now one of you fucknuts go sign the guestbook!

Tuesday, December 21, 1999

I got an email today from one of the Bunkford staff, asking for help. Seems that whoever is hosting them is giving them the boot. If you can help contact any member of the Bunkford staff.

In other news, it appears that the Weishaupt cam, has captured a rare event. Appears that Cyd and their roommate have switched positions on the couch. Stay tuned, I have a feeling that there is more excitement to come.

To fill in the gaping cracks in my day at work today, I was perusing some of the lists (blonde jokes, yo mama jokes, euphemisms for masturbation and so on) that make the rounds through email. In the canonical registry of pick-up lines, I came across one I hadn't seen before:

It's been a pretty slow week at work, seeing as how I already put in my two weeks notice, so I've had plenty of time to sit around pondering. Lots of things have been slithering through my mind as I stare slack-jawed out the window, but mostly I'm thinking about Sarah. Sarah is one of the techs who works "under" me (heh), and can be seen to the right planting a wet one on her twin sister. Sarah is a great technician, but one thing puzzles me- why hasn't she porked me yet? It's not like I haven't given her plenty of opportunities, but she always has some lame excuse, like "I have a boyfriend" or "I don't find you attractive, you slug." Yeah, right, she must want me so bad she's in denial. Poor girl. Alas, she only has til the end of the week to jump my bones, so in the meantime all I can do is stare at that picture, and wish I was the scarf.

Monday, December 20, 1999

Oooooh baby. This meager MMX processor has been holding me back long enough. The money order has been sent, and with luck UPS will manage to haul their sorry asses to my doorstep with an Abit BP6 motherboard in tow, and then I will be one happy little weishaupt. Yessiree, that's 1100 MHz of heavily overclocked goodness. Then, we'll see just how good win2K's dual processor support is. The good news for you, the PenIs consumer (heh) is that our quake3 server will get just a wee bit faster.

Looking for some good reading? This past week at work I've been reading the old Bence archives which have kept me pretty busy. Since there not a lot of pictures in the archive, from afar it looks like I may be working on something work related.

Oh man! the last couple days have been like living hell! You ever get the feeling that your eyes are going to fucking pop? Or does your throat ever feel like someone has fucking brushed it for hours with a damn toilet brush? Well if not, good! you don't want to! That's how I have felt now for the last couple days. I guess there is a brighter side though. I did have to call in to work, which I don't think I have ever done. Yeah! But now I am destined to lay on the damn couch and watch TV like it's my whole world! Oh well, life sucks I guess....

USER: Will you help me create an email to a bunch of people.
ME: I can show you how the basic email works but we cannot spend all our time showing you how your mail program works. Do you know who you want to mail?
USER: No thats the problem how do I find out?
ME: Do you know these people?
USER: No I just want to send it to the whole internet.
ME: The whole internet eh? Umm, Mam I cannot help you create spam.
USER: Well how do they other people make it?
ME: They buy or steal addresses.
USER:Why?
ME: So they can send out mail to random people.
USER: I hate when people do that.
ME: Uhh, yeah.. Do you have any technical issues I could actually help you with?

Well, needless to say today has started out like any normal monday at work.

Sunday, December 19, 1999

OK, a suitable app has finally been located to put the weiscam online. It's on manual update for the moment, but at least it finally works. Pictured in the inaugural campic is one of the assorted Pen Is hangers-on, looking swanky as always. She'd probably strip if someone sent her some cash or jewelry.

Eod and his weird girlfriend were kind enough to come down out of their hermit-like apartment and eat dinner at my place. Eod posed for this picture while emitting some sort of bluish power aura, probably a bad reaction to the gumbo. In other news, plans are currently underway for the Pen Is staff new year's party, featuring that keg I lucked into. We'll also be hooking up webcams to broadcast the fun from both locations. And let me just say- anyone who actually spends their new years watching us throw up live via satellite, man i'm praying for you. Unless you're Bence, cuz we know he's gonna be watching, and hoping eod decides get butt nekkid.

Ok, I'd like too correct my previous post about Bunkford's Stile-sux like picture contest thing. In my last post I referred to Bunkford's contest as a copy of Stile's established Stile Sux pictures. According to Carnifex and My GF, the Jesus Rocks Nads contest was in full effect before Stile.

In the interest of the ultimate truth on the internet, Stile is actually not the first one to do the "Write something on your naked body and send a picture of me" bit. The official home page of our Lord Jesus, or as it is referred to: "The Bastard Son of the Lord Home Page" has had a "Jesus Rocks Nads" page up for quite a while.

Now I'm not saying that since Bunkford & Stile weren't first, that they're collections of 'Sux' pictures are any less creditable. Infact maybe none of them are even slightly related (HA yeah right). I'm simply correcting what I said in an earlier post. Thanks Carnifex for the email.

Hey if I'm fucking up the site with this little reconstruction, let me know.

From Bunkford:

BUNKFORD.com is now accepting submissions for the 'BUNKFORD.com SUCKS' contest.
The rules are quite simple:
1) Show us a part of your body (tits, ass, crotch)!
2) Write 'BUNKFORD.com SUCKS' on the area of your body stated above!
3) Send the pic to Groulix

I know this looks like something out of Blade Runner, but apparently this is an actual city in Brasil. Kinda freaky, huh? Makes you wonder how long it is until we get flying cars and synthetic people that look so real that you can't tell that they aren't, but they are bad because they've been slaves and they're hiding among us and we don't even know and they want to be real and they can't so they keep stealing eyes from legitimate eye dealers and stuff.... Or maybe I'm just a little whacked out right now.

Just thought I'd share a trippy book with those of you out there that like to think. It's called Finger Prints of the Gods and it's by Graham Hancock. He writes some awesome literature. The book is like one big theory of pre-history. It talks about the Nazca Lines, the pyramids of Giza, The lost continent of Atlantis, etc. It's really a pretty fucking awesome read, so give it a look if you get the chance.

Saturday, December 18, 1999

Boy, do some very intelligent java programmers have too much time on their hands. It's not like I'm a big "Can't we just have Christmas as a family" nazi, but dammit, there's a line beyond which things become just plain wrong.

Three guys are traveling and they need to get a room for the night. They put all of their money together but they still only had enough money to get one room, so that meant they all had to sleep in one bed. They slept that night and when they woke up the guy on the far left said,'I had the wierdest dream, I dreamed that I was beating off.' The guy on the far right said, 'I had the same dream.' The guy in the middle said, 'Man, I dreamt I was cross-country skiing.'

Friday, December 17, 1999

This is sorta amusing. A legitimate retailer of humorous calendars has written their entire website like an article from the Onion. Check out their Statement of Purpose. Go ahead, follow some of the sidebar links, the whole site's like that. Of course, there's the obligatory disclaimer somewhere at the bottom. Thanks to Moo.Nothing for the link.

Now I don't personally read the Onion of course, because I'm bitter. Here's the story. Back before this whole crazy internet thing started, the Onion was a college newspaper, started by two guys. They got in some kind of argument and moved to different cities and started two Onions, one in Illinois and one in Wisconsin. This was back in the late eighties. One of my first jobs in college was writing for the Onion in Illinois. Specifically, I wrote for the online version - the one I worked for got the internet itch faster than the one in Wisconsin. Three months later we went bankrupt. So the Onion in Wisconsin put up basically the same webpage six months later, got huge, made bucketloads of cash, put a book on the bestseller list, and went on Letterman. Fuck. When I joined, like ten people worked there. I could be on a yacht right now, if my old bosses knew how to scare up investment capital. Now, no matter how funny their little page might be, it just brings tears to my eyes.

Well, I quit my job today. That's what that cryptic post earlier was all about, I didn't wanna come right out and say it or the nimrods in my office would have told my boss before I did. My last day should be next Friday, and then I start the new gig during the first couple weeks in January. At that point, we start a new era at Pen-Is: the nationwide roving Weishaupt. I get to fly around teaching IRS employees how to read their email. Now that should suck mightily, but I'll be back home in Rainshereallthefuckingtime, USA on the weekends. If luck holds I'll be able to hook up some sort of humble means of posting from the road. In the meantime, I still need to figure out what I'm gonna do with the beer.

Leave it to the US to pound something remotely funny, into shit.

Web sensation Mahir Cagri is in the United States, giving autographs, photo ops and giving interviews. And fending off marriage proposals from admirers.

abcnews

Well yeehaw he is touring the US, umm... hmm.... umm... Why? The pages were funny even though it got old after about the millionith time someone sent me his link. The kicker is, most of the funny Mahir sites, where not even made by Mahir but by little 13 year olds and a copy of photoshop.

Rest of article here

Or, grab your Mahir gear here

send a friend a ho!

Here are 3 pictures of one of our readers.

Check her out here, a picture of an acting role here and finally finshing up the meal here

Thursday, December 16, 1999

Low pay, good benefits, and hot secretaries... If you'd like to replace me, just fill out an application, print it out, fold it three times and bury it in your backyard. One of our underground agents will contact you shortly.

Here is old Bill as a kid. I think we could all learn a lesson from our president.

I learned something the other day. Nike really is a terrible corporate entity filled with high-shcool office politics and exploitative work policies. My girlfriend was working there as a temp in the H.R. department, and basically lost her job because she was not a yuppie. If she would have worn khakis and Nikes and participated in the office gossip circle, she would still have a job. But she's a competent hard worker and lost her job because of their stupid high-school antics. Just so everyone knows, Nike really is a crappy employer, so before you buy those ugly-ass sneakers of theirs think twice and reach for the Adidas instead.

What kind of help does this man need? And why is he smiling with his hands in his pockets?

Wednesday, December 15, 1999

Well, maybe that E/N convention wasn't such a bad idea after all. One of the software vendors my company works with has been using a little VB app I wrote. It's a nothing little program, and I can't actually charge for it (since I wrote it on company time), but the vendors liked it and asked me what I wanted for it. I thought they were joking, so I said, "A keg of beer". Well, they came through town again and were kind of enough to supply me with one bonafide half-barrel of Blue Heron Ale, a tasty concoction from a local brewery. Problem is, I don't think I have enough friends to get more than halfway through it before it gets flat, stale and and urine-ish. So the only question left to decide is: when is the Pen Is staff gonna throw the party? I'm kinda partial to the idea of popping the cherry on this sucker Friday night, but the idea of an E/N new year's bash has some merit too.

Here is a view of the 19th hole I'd rather not pop into. But it sure looks like these two want to.

I've been reading Badassmofo for a long time, I'm quite the fan. In fact, I've been reading that page so long, I remember Mabs posting twice in a week. So a couple of days ago, I noticed that the little pimp dude in the corner of the page had grown some superimposed xmas cheer (which has been reroduced here). For awhile, I didn't think much of it - he's got a hat and some mistletoe, big deal. Now that I take a good solid gander at it, it looks like mini-Mofo is intentionally holding the mistletoe over his crotch, and leering down at it lewdly. Kick ass. Wonder if that innuendo was intended, or if it was just Sharkey's subconscious desperation for head showing through in his graphic design work. Hey, Shark, keep that up and you could draw movies for Disney!

Just an update to point you towards some of the silliness on the web today... First off, the Register reports today that the SimCity3K page got hacked by pro-pot advocates. Since I fully approve of both legalizing pot, and of web page defacing, I'm just happier than a large-fingered lesbian. Click the pic to see the hacked page.
In other news, thanks to Biznich for pointing me towards the Phonebashing site. It looks like they're trying to hype a song or a band or something, so these might be staged, but the six movies contained herein are definitely worth checking out. I hope these guys are for real, because this is exactly what I think the world needs more of.

Found this in our hit counter

http://yep.com/yep/qir?criteria=penis enlargement%26page=2%26slider=1%26refine=1&sn=penismightier.com

Pretty swank.

I was just looking at the picture that Eod poasted a couple days ago of Pimp Daddy He-man, and a few old memories were revived. Does anyone remember Orko? The little flying trollan that played kind of side kick to He-Man and Cringer. Worse then the memories of this is that there are webpages devoted to this fugly little character. Check this place out. Man! You would think people had better things to do with their time! You know, I bet that the big 'O' on his little robe thing has some hidden meaning. Hmm Maybe "Oh Shit!" Who knows!

Just caught an article describing an Australian kid who's developing a new 3D rendering engine for low-end systems. Instead of textured polygons, it relies on many, many iterations of parabolas and other geometric curves to create rolling hills, cloud effects and such. You can read more about it at his site, or if you like, just download the demo executable hee-ya. Click the mouse on the picture to move around. Why, you ask, is this crappy looking little island important? It's impressive because it's rediculously light- weight, compared to any polygon-type rendering engine (i.e. any game). The exe is a measly 74K uncompressed, and (more importantly) it requires almost no processing power. Supposedly, a Gameboy would be powerful enough to render with this engine. The upshot is, if someone were going to develop a Neuromancer/Snowcrash style virtual world, this would probably be the rendering engine they'd use.

Think this would be a good alternative to spin the bottle?

Tuesday, December 14, 1999

I have to say that this has to be the funnest thing I've ever read.

Well, our old fecally-fixated friend Stile has called an E/N convention for tomorrow. While no one here on the Pen Is staff is quite sure what E/N stands for, you can be assured our phallic corporate jet will come rolling in, flying the veiny purple flag.

As a token of my good faith and the Christmas season, I'll be bringing along a sackful of presents for all the other fixtures of the community: maybe a pair of these for Stile, and a few of these for our good buddy Solosier. And while I'm on the subject, are they presenting together? Cuz that might not be such a smoking hot idea. I'm also bringing along my safety goggles in case Bence is one of the speakers. I've heard he just goes off without warning, like he's got Tourette's Syndrome of the dick. However, most of the reason I wanna go to the convention is so I can meet Sharkey from BAMF. He talks a mean fight, but I want to see how he reacts when I fling a big howler monkey-sized gob of my own crap at him. I'm pulling a straight up primate drive-by on his ass. My guess is he'll look quizzically at me for a moment, then pull down his pants, shit in his hand, and fling back. Hell yeah. Actually, I'd never do that, it would just end up getting posted on Stileproject.

Most of all, myself and the rest of the staff here are just thrilled to be included in a community. Any kind, really. We were all picked on as children, and we come come from abusive broken homes and so forth. Stile's is the second site this week to refer to us as a part of the E/N community, and we would be darn proud to take part in the convention. So, um, could someone maybe tell me where it's gonna be?

Today I was flipping through the channels, and I did something I haven't been able to do in a long time. I hit the first channel, kept on climbing, 2nd, 3rd, both a blur. I just kept climbing and climbing and climbing up towards the top... My thumbs fatigued my vision blurring. I had reached my goal, I proudly ended my sojourn on top of the mighty 62nd channel.

Yes thats right, Eod has broken down and gotten Cable.

The fun of cable wore out its welcome after I flipped through the 60 channels the first time and found that half of them where in spanish and the other half were of the golden girls & hogans family re-runs.

At least watching Simpsons won't be a guessing game of which blur said what.

Actually Mikey if people didn't share wierd shit, this site wouldn't really be shit.

Ok, I like porn as much as the next guy. I even feel the need to seek it out once in while on the Web, but man this sick demented shit like Josh has so happily posted in the last couple of weeks, combined with what I just saw on Stile's site with the twisted sick as fuck Japanese has really got me all kinds of fucked up right now.

I just can't believe this shit!
1. The fact that Josh and others actually go and look for sick shit like this.

2. That they share it. Man keep that shit in the closet.

3. That somebody will actually do sick shit like: stick a sparkler up their ass, get fatter than Old Sequoia and lay down doggy style for a cammera, or eat shit.

4. By being Josh's roommate I inadvertantly associated with this kinda twisted shit.

Now I'm all for bad politics like clubbing seals or something, but bad porn is something I just personally can't take. I'm now haunted by images of sick Japanese eating shit. I thought the beginning of that video was bad, I had to turn the fucking thing off after I realized what they were doing next. What makes people do this shit? I guess maybe this is coming from a guy who's had limited sexuall experience, a missionary man, but I can even understand bringing in a few toys but sparklers and shit and multiple piercings of the genitals? Alright so I guess whats good for somebody else isn't for another. I just don't want to have anything to do with it.

You know it's been a couple months since I have been layed, so I thought that maybe I would you know, browse the women of the internet. Well I'll tell you! when I stumbled upon this fucking picture my fucking manhood got limper than a fucking limp biscuit. How the fuck could any decent person let them selves go like that?!?! FUCK!!!! This is fucking gross!!!! It's probably bad enough that I am even showing you this, but really, why the fuck would anyone even remotely consider taking this picture? Maybe they were trying to turn on Shamo? I dunno. When I go to look for a little porn on the net, this is NOT what I want to find!!! Where the fuck is Jenny Craige when we really need her??

Monday, December 13, 1999

That's right, working on getting the Weiscam up and running. Let's hope my roommates don't disapprove, when they find out it's up (heh heh). In other news, according to the cam page Josh has been sitting in front of his computer for the last 24 hours without moving. Josh! Put on a damn shirt, man! It looks like there's some sort of rodent pelt staple-gunned to your chest.

Well, sorry I didn't post much this weekend, it was my birthday dammit. Still no birthday presents, I may just have to take it upon myself to make sure Ol' Weishaupt gets a Vaio for Xmas. As for the rest of you, go check out today's Suck, it's a pretty funny little send-up of Slashdot. And if youdon't know what Slashdot is, well then, there's just no help for ya.

Pimpin' & Hoein'

Sunday, December 12, 1999

Well, not one damn birthday present thus far. We'll have to see what comes in the mail this week from the folks. I'm especially disappointed in Becky and Laura, who had the opportunity to give me tag-team birthday sex, and inexplicably didn't take advantage of it. The nerve of some people!

Well looks like we had another bad run in with uswest, I'm not sure how bad it effected the web server. So if you couldn't access the site for a few hours, well, oh well, everything is cool now.

Well went to a party last night and drank everything I could find. Talked to people who tried to make me feel bad for liking computers and being a business major and not majoring in something such as Anthropology. That's their view of things. Seriously people can bitch and bitch and bitch and bitch and bitch about how much they hate big businesses and they hate our current system. But I'll tell you this, bitching about it does ZERO, it does NOTHING, NOTHING AT ALL! Standing around trying to be an elitest and talking trash about big businesses does nothing to STOP this current situation. I'll tell you what, if they grouped together and actually joined into the business world and made some fucking changes instead of sticking there thumb up there ass, and going "Why major in business, why contribute to Capitalism". Why? Because I'm one of the few who actually is going to make some changes, while your lazy ass sits around and bitches about the state of things.

Lazy Fuckers.. =).

Anyways the party was cool, free drinks rules, no hangover this morning, all and all a good start to a new day.

Saturday, December 11, 1999

Dude, my only question is : What's up with kids these days?

You know what pisses me off? I mean other than pansy-ass Soap shoes and inline skaters and yuppies and preppies and hippies and wannabe alterna-scum and people who think they are better than other people.... I really hate the fact that the company I work for shut off my ability to use Yahoo Messenger. I don't know how they did it, but it irks me something fiersome. Not that I can't use AIM, but I have some friends that only have Yahoo Messenger. What a crock of shit.

That's right all you PenIs-ites, Weishaupt is now a quarter-century man. Now it's time for the PenIs staff to sit down and try to figure out if there are any strip bars left that we haven't been permanently banned from. Now, I know what you're all thinking: "How can I make this an extra-special birthday for Weishaupt without spending more than a few hundred dollars?" Well, thank goodness I'm here to give you advice. Now wish me a happy one, you ungratious bastards.

Fuck man it's almost 4:20!!!

File photos for the true testing of Soap Shoes? OR! Sparklers up my Ass?

Holy Shit Man! What the fuck?!!? I didn't think that this shit should fucking replace skating or something? I was simply saying that I think they are kind of a cool fucking idea?!! You know, a new direction in shoes! I didn't mean that everyone should fucking go out and get a pair because I think that they would look cool! No! I just thought that hey! These look kind of cool and that this might be a cool idea. Sorry if I sounded kind of faggey to most people! I didn't realize it! You know if I had a pair of Soaps, I don't think that I would be like, "Hey man! I'm like a skater now! Watch me do cool tricks!" No, I probably would wear them when I went out to get drunk so I could be cool and fucking kill myself while I was trying to rail slide! Hell Yeah! These are fucking dangerous shoes man! BTW: I just got back from drinking so I hope I make some sense here... If I don't I am sure I will be pretty fucking embarrassed tomorrow! FUCK YEAH! I guess all people who wear Soaps are Fags! Even if they bought them for other reasons then their skating like action! ONLY IN AMERICA BABY!

Friday, December 10, 1999

Yeah, I'm sorry Josh, but those fucking SOAP shoes are as fruity as RuPaul. Then again, so is roller-blading. That's just one man's opinion of course. So just to be sensitive to those of you who like that faggoty shit, I'm sorry. You can go ahead and be a bunch of weak-asses while real people skateboard and do real shit. Just to clarify, fuck SOAP shoes and fuck all you pussy-ass "inline skaters". This is only a note for people who inline skate because it is "extreme", not those who use it only as a method of transportation. If it keeps you from being a fat tub of goo, then more power to you.

So I've been duped. The master of all things has himself been tricked. I was subtly manipulated into a position within my company where I am salaried. Yes, it's true. I had no idea at the time that when I worked out the exact hourly wage, I would be working for less money than they pay those people making shoes in Taiwan. It seemed like so much money, but then I realized the truth. Friends, take this as a warning lest you should be heinously buggered into a position of servitude like myself: never take a job that pays you a salary unless it's more digits than you have toes.

Damn this game looks so sick. I am a big fan of GT1, I played that thing til the CD was worn out. Tuning different cars up, beating friends, etc. So far it is the closest game I have found to actual race circut racing. Well my friends Gran Turismo 2 is just around the corner, BUT as with any game that is cool, they fawk around with the release dates until it is some wierd date nothing related to the orginal date. I'm betting on post-christmas day release. Actually I wouldn't bet on it, but I'm sure hoping for a before xmas release date.

Not only will you get normal track racing but good ol' ralley racing. So date pending I'll be schooling people in GT1, until GT2 is ready. Anyone wanna come get some?

Just check out that screen shot (same car as mine!). Game looks great! Uh oh sticky keyboard, sticky keyboard...

Odd you should mention that Eod, just today (on the same site I mentioned earlier) I also found this link. It's the abstract to a paper in this months Journal of Epidemiology entitled "Cannibas Use and Cognitive Decline in Persons Under 65 Years of Age." I haven't seen the full report, but allow me to quote from the synopsis:
There were no significant differences in cognitive decline between heavy users, light users, and nonusers of cannabis.
Short and sweet. Now let's sit back and watch Barry McCaffrey lie about it.

Well I always wondered what effect Mary Jane has on people, and thank the lord I found this wonderful link. Really it has explained nothing to me, and it is suppose to be a "Just say no!" website.

What does it do? Smoking pot can make some people feel like they're relaxed, loosened up, and giggly. It also makes them a little confused, spaced out, and red-eyed. Memory loss happens almost immediately. Their heart rate might go up to dangerous levels. After a few minutes, paranoia sets in, then intense hunger. Finally, sleepiness.

HAHA, I love the "intense hunger" part. They left out "Frequent late night visits to Taco Bell" and "quick trips to 7-11."

For the complete page go here

As always the PenIs staff does not advocate the smoking of Marijuana, nor do we advocate:

Rolling Phatty Spliffs
Smokin' the Sticky Icky
Blazin' the Chronic
Bogarting the ganja
Passing the bong to the left
Making sweet love to Mary Jane

Wow! it seems that our friend Monkey over at GBATM didn't like that idea that I mentioned
the fact that Soapshoes looked cool. Look at this post:

Josh at Penismightier.com apparently just found out about the concept of 'soap shoes'. No, they aren't cool, and they arent for skateboarders. They're for what we like to call 'freestyle faggot walkers'. These shoes are meant to be used as a gay alternative to roller blades when the stupid fruit booters cant be 'agressive inline skating'. I know a couple of kids that have/had them (who shall remain nameless) and they're real gay. So Josh, if you read this, just F.Y.I., soap shoes are evil and should never, under any circumstance, be purchased

From one of my favorite websites, comes this article, which I'll quote briefly in case you're hurried:

Dec. 9, 1999, Wellington, New Zealand: Nandor Tanzcos, Founder of New Zealand NORML was elected to Parliament as a member of the Green Party this week. Tanzcos, New Zealand's first Rastafarian Member of Parliament, is one of six Green Party members elected to the 120 seat legislative body.

Sweet. Observation 1: I'm moving to NZ. Observation 2: Man, I wish I was named Nandor, that woulda kicked all kinds of ass in grade school.

Woke up today, got a package from UPS. Turns out they sent my Turn2 Motor mount a day earlier than I thought. I got all excited but alas I need some tools to install it. Went shopping with my gf for christmas stuff, picked myself up a TV tuner/video capture card. Hooked up a broken cam and got it working through the capture card. I imagine the cam will just be my showing my monkey but who knows, lots of people come through this apt, parties etc, I imagine that we could keep some people entertained.

Thursday, December 09, 1999

HA! Yeah baby! Since I was bored this evening I decided to give some girls a call
*WINK* *WINK* Hehe! Well after talking for a few minutes I asked what they where
doing tonight? She said "Going to the Offspring show." and naturally I asked if they
might have any extra tickets? Guess what? Holy shit! She said yup! So she is trying
to get my name on the list for tonight's show! Oh yeah Baby! Who's your Daddy!!!!

i labored and toiled for a seemingly infinite amount of time drawing the base idea round which my idea for the site mascott was designed. Additionally, since the PenIs philosophy dictates that: although the pen may be mightier than the sword, a pen not open to the ideas elucidated by other pens is a weaker pen; i have decided to put the question to you: PenIs supporters, readers, and heckelers. Let me know what you think about my idea for the PenIs mascott, and submit any ideas your minds might feel the need to pen. (/me fireproofs and reinforces his mailbox.)

to those of you for whom the aesthetics of language are important, you will be overjoyed to learn that i have taken it upon myself to be the post-hoc editor of the PenIs site. those eyescorching spelling errors have and will be corrected by me as well as any grammatical errors which do not detract from the style or overall aesthetics of the post.

i always knew cats were smart, and i always thought that if they could read, their writing would be somewhat like that of robert a. heinlein - kind of aloof, yet insightful and sarcastic. i never expected this, however.

BTW: We have updated the Cams section. So check it out already!!

I gotta second grue, End of Days was one of the most worthless movies I've watched in a long time. I don't know why they bothered. It's not even got that much action in it. Sure you have the devil copping a feel a couple times and gettin' it on (you knew he would), but that's about the extent of anything useful in it. So take my advice and skip this one unless your IQ is lower than my jock hangs.

Some nimrods have made a dance remix of that odious hampsterdance tune. Just one more sign of the apocalypse. Fortunately, it doesn't look like it's publicly available yet, so keep checking napster. The only good news is, someone once told me that hamspter song is ripped off from Disney, so maybe a little good old-fasioned corporate litigation can put a stop to this silliness.

And I haven't even heard them yet. Check out Rockbitch, a band from UK who (among other things) plays naked and fucks audience members. Stand-out songs include Whore of Satan, Piss Dripping Fur Burger, and Fist Fuck. During each show, they toss a golden condom into the crowd, and whoever catches it gets to prong members of the band, who are prone to quoting feminists and Aleister Crowley while getting banned from performing practically everywhere. I think it's time for a Rockbitch PenIs world tour...

Wow. Caught this on slashdot. Anyone who knows me knows I spit on the worthless search engines, or portals as they're known these days, With their huge, massive bandwidth pipes, 99% cordoned off to spew animated gifs out at the world while the last one percent pathetically indexes whatever sites advertisers submit to them. They're great at finding pages that people submit, but manuals pages? online forums? Well, some yokels have created (and released free under the GPL) a home search engine. For what they call a "nominal two year fee" (how the fuck does that fit in the GPL?) they claim it's capable of reindexing the entire WWW in three months of running on a P-II with Slackware. Groovy. Now whose gonna continue this gravy train of buzzwords by making this a distributed search (i.e., napstering it)?

I was surfing around the way I normally do. No rhyme or reason, just typing in things that sound interesting to me directly into the address bar and seeing what pops up. Would you believe that I found nothing of any interest? In fact, I found some sites that really did not warrant even existing. Complete wastes of a domain name. I could do such creative things with these sites, and they are nothings. Please check them if you don't believe me, and join me in my campaign to send hate mail to all the people who have un-worthy sites. You can start with monkeyface and kungfujoe . Please help in my newfound mission, thank you.

Wensday, December 08, 1999

Well, apparently Sharkey of BAMF and Stile of Stile Project have started a mock war with each other. Although now that I think of it, if you're at this page the odds are very good you already knew that. At any rate, you have to hand it to them, those boys know how to bring in the hits. I think they should take it one step further and model the e/n community after professional wrestling. One week Stile could be the bad guy, and we'd all boo Stile and root for Sharkey, and then the next week Sharkey would betray someone, and an uncharacteristically heroic act on Stile's part would have us all back in his corner. The saddest part is, if Sharkey is Hulk Hogan, and Stile is the Macho Man, then I'm not even popular enough to play Leaping Lanny Poffo.

Just in case there was any confusion from Eod's last post, I want to remind everyone that PenIs does not advocate the smoking of marijuana. We'd much rather you use a syringe to inject it straight into your eyeball. Oh, wait, I'm thinking of LSD.

Weishaupt man, you gotta call them "Waterpipes" if you want to buy one in a store. The bong word is baaadd. Bong = Illegal Use. Water Pipe = Smoking tobbaco in a wierd shaped pipe that has a giant leaf, with wierd colors, grip action, and sizes range from small to 7 feet long for all the legal reasons. Infact I used the "B" word in a shop and they said "Sorry sir we don't sell anything for illegal use." Course they do, I was looking at them behind the damn glass. A friend later informed me that we are to use "Waterpipe". All I know is I love smoking "Tobbaco" in my bong and weed in the waterpipe. Shit I'm a rebel that way.

According to this Cnet article, the Record Industry Association of America is suing the popular music-trading program Napster. Two things make this funny: First, Napster is a tiny little startup company that has yet to make a dollar in actual profit. Second, the RIAA (basically a front for the 5 big music companies) is suing Napster for $100,000 US per song that has been illegally traded via Napster, which (while hard to measure exactly) would amount to something in the hundreds of billions. Now, the RIAA probably won't win the case, because you can use Napster to trade both legal and illegal mp3's (generally, anything that has a legal use is legal to sell - just like selling bongs on the theory that someone might smoke tobbaco through them). However, if this lawsuit doesn't drive 'em out of business, the RIAA will probably be able to get an injunction against Napster until such time as SDMI can be implemented. Moral of the story? Go download Napster and get while the gettin's good.

Tuesday, December 07, 1999

Bad shit doesn't disappear when I'm around I'll bring that shit right back up. I hope everybody remembers Teddy Ruxpin, the cassette playing, talking bear. Well it appears that either Teddy is still in circulation or there are a whole lot of fucking fans. I always wondered if you replced his happy nap time story time tape with Metal or Rap if Teddy would be able to keep up? Teddy seems the more R&B type. Anyways just wanted to bring up old shit.

Well, Quake III still owns me, but Unreal Torunament has been installed and is awaiting its christening voyage. Man, I need to join a clan, I'm sick of searching for a public server that doesn't entirely consist of suck-asses.. Lemme know if you know a good place to be looking. Now, get back to the hot, hard porno!

Hiya. Grue here, aka Weishaupt's evil twin brother, with a little holiday reminder: stay the hell away from End of Days. Arnold Schwartzenegger's latest vehicle is, as the Japanese say, "derivative, predictable, even boring; in short, fucking terrible" [rough translation]. Read the rest of the review

i was at my work the other day, on a saturday evening (i know, get a life, cyd) decorating the office for the holidays. i painted a 40' x 12' window with a wintery scene, hung snowflakes, the whole deal. i'll admit, getting paid $11 an hour to paint and put up decorations wasn't a bad way to spend a saturday night. anyway, after i'd put in about six hours of work, i was feeling pretty good, like i was really contributing a small piece of christmas to the commercial district... until i went out to the parking lot where i had parked my sorry excuse for a car. it was not there, and since it was our business lot, and i was the only one at my place of work, to my knowledge, was the only one with the authorization to tow my car, which, of course, i did not do. so, of course, i ran in and called 911 to elicit the help of the friendly porkland police. the following conversation took place:

"911, what is the nature of your emergency?"
"hi, i noticed my car was missing, and it happened within the last hour from [location]."
"um, you need the non-emergency number."
"but it was *just* taken, if you act now, you can probably still find it."
"ok, um, i'll just transfer you to the non-emergency number" [christmas music]

ok, at this point, i was fairly well out of the holiday mood, and could have done without the christmas music. to make a long story slightly shorter, i discovered that my car had, in fact, been towed, and had incurred, after numerous shady subcharges, a $170.50 tow fee in one hour. needless to say, i was ready to go on a holiday bloodletting spree, and was not about to leave without berating the towing guy who didn't bother to ask the people in the big glass window decorating the office if it was their car. but it obviously doesn't pay *them* to be nice... apparently, my place of work arrnaged with them to tow any car in the lot after 9 pm, and failed to tell me. so, of course i got reimbursed from work - their negligence. however, i wound up spreading more holiday angst than anything. in summary, this experience made me feel sooooo goth it hurts. >;p

Good job Eod, I knew that with a little hard work you could make that F in to a D-. I called in sick to work today, so I get to hang around in my warm jammies and make prank calls to ex-girlfriends. That foot-in-ass disease clip you linked is pretty sweet, but I still say this is my favorite clip from the net. I felt strongly enough to move this to our local servers, just so it could be linked to at will until the end of time.

Now that you're a free man, Eod, I guess you'll have plenty of time to learn to do this. Good luck.

Yeeeehhaawww! Good lord I've been lame with the updates lately. Its cool though I got a reason.. I've been slavin' away all day in the fields of accounting, my only escape is the random song and field holler. But after tonight 5:30pm-7:20pm pst (depending when I finish) I'll be a free man. I'll be heading up north to the bars and getting shitfaced, then coming home and enjoying my life as a freeman.

Course I can't just post and leave you with nothing, so here is a clip that gives new meaning to "Shove my foot up your ass" Really its great check it out.

Damn right beotch..

Monday, December 06, 1999

ummm... Same warning as last time

Some hours ago I posted a link to the Stile Project regarding his threat to post something really disturbing tonight. Well, not only did Stile regale the net with the obligatory nutshot video, he also posted what purported to be a video of a woman getting shot in the head. He's gotten a bunch of hate mail from it, no big surprise there, so he posted two more snuff clips. Now, I'm not gonna link the clips, but I'll throw in my two cents worth.

Cent one: I don't want to weigh in on the ethics of posting this sort of thing, I'll leave that to you all, but I tend to like unusual, disgusting clips and photos in general. That's why I click on these links in the first place. Autopsy photos and deformed babies? Send 'em my way. Anything whatsoever to do with people in pain? Can't get enough. Hell, I still giggle uncontrollably every single time I see this. However, one could arguably draw the line at actual snuff - but that brings me to

Cent two: I don't think any of the clips are real. The second two clips that he posted as video 1 and video 2 are pretty obvious fakes, and the "victims" are, in my opinion, unconvincing porno actresses. There are little puffs of red where the squibs explode, and what kind of snuff pornographer forgets to wear a mask? In this frame, he can be seen using his fake gun to fire some sort of puffy white pellet (which I'm guessing is somehow related to the special effects).

The other clip is not a whole lot better (altho the special effects are). It looked fake to me right away, but there's not much to point to that proves it. To me, the blood doesn't look like real blood, but i suppose I'm no Quincy, M.D. Mostly, it seems strange that there are three frames of video in between the gun firing and the blood splattering. That's at least 1/15th of a second, and even weak handguns have muzzle velocities of 200 feet/sec. Yeah, I looked at it frame by frame, I'm a big freak. I was curious... Oh yeah, and the woman is saying "Snuff films do not exist" as she's getting it. Apparently, special effects people have strange senses of humor.

So, all in all, I still believe that snuff films just don't exist, but even if they are fake, I still wonder where Stile finds all this shit. Tell me what you think, but (and this should be obvious) the clips are graphic.

Apparently carpal tunnel syndrome, user complaints and efficiency concerns have spurred Microsoft to come up with a radical new keyboard design, specifically optimized tobe compatible with Win2K. I think you'll find you can use it to carry out all of the important Windows commands, without a bunch of confusing extraneous keys that never work anyway. Take a look at the prototype.

WARNING: No one anywhere should click on the links in this post for any reason whatsoever. They are far too disturbing to be seen by anyone, anywhere and are included for educational purposes only. You've been warned.

When a man like Stile says he's going to reach all new heights in violent testicle torture, it is no small boast. We're talking about a man who has posted a movie of a woman tap-dancing on some poor schmuck's nuts, and another just a few days prior of a guy nailing himself to a board. And once again, for christ's sake don't click on these links , just write down the URL and send it to your clergyman. Well, his latest post promises something worse this evening, and my feverish brain shudders to think what that might be. Whatever he has planned for exhibition tonight, only one thing can be predicted beforehand: It'll be just awful.

Go check out the pretentiously titled Deoxyribonucleic Hyperdimension by clicking on the Egyptian fellow there. Man, this guy's site just keeps getting cooler and cooler. It's a vast, heavily hyperlinked archive of rants and info about drugs, shamanism, new age philosophy, Tim Leary, and so forth. You can spend all damn night wandering around there without seeing the same page twice, and there's a lot of multimedia. This guy should be include a banner stating "Best Viewed under the influence of LSD." Of particular interest, check out his area full of Robert Anton Wilson stuff, it's worth the price of admission. Bookmark the page, and if you're not an enlightened zen Buddha master savant by this time tomorrow, go back and start over again.

Well, here's a silly little picture to email to your friends, family, enemies, and assorted hangers-on. Thanks to Ragnar for bringing this to our attention. For a "flashier" look at the terror of Teletubbies, check over here at the Newgrounds page (you really ought to check out the whole site, it kicks a lotta ass).
Additionally, keep an eye out later today: We'll have a movie review of End of Days written by none other than my evil twin. You can't beat that.

I have 2 finals left and then I can actually finsh up some of these web projects. Actually I'm really looking for an excuse to use the new posting program. It's pretty sweet.

Normally I'm all down for heading out and having some fun on a Saturday night but not last Saturday, I ended up sneaking into the Reed College library to study (they have a 24-hr joint and PSU closes at like 7:00pm) and just spent my happy fun Saturday studying Accounting. Then Sunday I did some more cramming and got an urge to play some monopoly. I ended up buying everyone out of thier land and being the winner. For a while I was actually happy about my financial situation then I remembered that I'm actually really fucking broke and I need to score some money to buy xmas presents. *DING* (Cue credit card) Time to find out what the real limit is on this.

Well, if you're reading this now, the little VB applet to let us update the page remotely (without having to navigate Eod's bizarre firewalls, proxies and NAT routes) must be finished and working properly. Normally, I don't consider a VB project to be 'finished' until it has an amusing logo in the About pull-down, but it's late so I'm going to make an exception. Then I'll mail a copy to Eod so, you can expect a whole lotta fucked up posts right in a row.

However, I hate to make a post without actually including some useful information, so let's examine a hypothetical problem in the modern workplace: Let's say you have a computer down in the basement, behind the boiler room in the office building where you work, which you use to operate your secret child pornography BBS. You also have a computer at your desk, and the two are networked so you can share files easily - because when you go home for the day, you want your regular work computer to be bereft of incriminating material. The problem is, it's getting to be a pain in the ass to go down to the boiler room every time you need to do maintenance on the BBS, and people are starting to suspect something. So here's whatcha do: go check out VNC 3.3.2. You can install files, run programs, and so forth remotely and very easily. Yesterday I installed Quake3 onto a new server, configured it and ran it as a dedicated server, all without actually being within a mile of the server machine. Sweeeet. Go download it if you're on a LAN; if you work as a system administrator, then install this on all your client machines and you'll never have to leave your office.

Special note for cable modem/DSL users: You'll need to set a TCP NAT route to connect to your home computers from elsewhere (e.g. the office). Whichever server is running on display 0 should have a NAT route on port 5900, the server on display 1 should have a NAT route on 5901, and so forth. I'm confident you'll figure it out.

As the site begins to roll on into it's first week, we are ironing out all the bugs. The articles section will soon be filled or atleast added to in the not to distance future. Mainly our attention is being focused on some behind the scene administration.

We are currently working on the cams. There will be a total of three cams to begin with. One will be pointed at Weishaupt's & Cyd's pad which includes those two and there female roommate. Another one will be pointed at Josh's place with his roommate and the last one will be on my place with me and my girlfriend.

Weishaupt has been working on an orginal posting program for us to use instead of using anyone elses. (straight up PenIs style, as you can see below it should already be working) Other than that its wonderful to see all the readers.

Sunday, December 05, 1999

In penitence I will now restore the backups, and then I will Move the day divider so Weishaupt can start posting again.

Then maybe he'll package up the distributable for me and Josh!

Hopefully!

Been hanging around on the Lego Mindstorm sites for a couple hours now. Anyone wanna send me a kit? You program all the commands in its own language on your computer then sync it with the cpu type device and bam your new instruction set is into your gizmo. (The gizmo controls various motors, IR senors, etc) Anyone own or seen these bad boys in action? Drop me a line. These are seriously awesome, I don't see why NASA doesn't just send these into space instead of chucking probes at various space matter.

Ahh nothing like turning that rent check in 2 hours til the deadline.

Smoked dope for the first time in a long time last night. Made me feel all stupid, but that's pretty much a given. I tried to watch some Gallagher, but I discovered the underlying truth is that he just isn't funny no matter how fucked up you are. Then I drove home and had great sex that I can't hardly remember.

Here's one of those times when I won't even explain the train of thought that led me to the site, but needless to say it started with my PokeMon research. If you follow the link in my previous post and can figure out where my brain went to get here, I'd be super impressed. Anyways, I just thought that everyone out there would appreciate the chance to design their very own Barbie. I did. It was an exciting time for me, and I think it will be for you too, so give it a try. I mean why not, you're already wasting bandwitdth.

Someone posted an interesting CNN article to alt.binaries.movies, the notorious den of bootleg movie trading. The gist of the article, which I've archived here, is that major movie production studios are planning on delaying the release of new movies in America (as opposed to foreign markets) up to two months to cut down on pre-release bootlegging. Sounds odd. You'd think that would make for more bootleggin', not less. But the article gets stranger. To quote:
Authorities are cracking down, however. Some of the copies of recent hit movies including the new James Bond movie, The World Is Not Enough, and Sleepy Hollow, have been tagged with identification call signals. These signals report back to the Federal Bureau of Investigation when the movie is viewed, unknown to the person viewing the movie.
Yikes. Scary, thinks Weishaupt to himself. But why would a good upstanding Christian lad like Weishaupt be afraid of an anti-piracy measure, I hear you ask?

Ah. Yes, well that would be a problem, wouldn't it? But wait a minute I think to myself, how the hell would the Feds tag a .ASF or a .MPG to turn me in? Does my DVD program even have any network components loaded? Not likely. But what if the proprietary DVD codecs include something nefarious? Then panic set in: I've been wondering for years why law enforcement completely ignores the warez and movies that are freely traded in about a million easily accessible places on the net. What if the piracy Narcs aren't complete fucking idiots, what if they're just secretive? The government employs legions of programmers who don't seem to be working on any useful project, they must all be doing something with their time... What if they've been working with content producers to surreptitiously track media and games, and they've been logging our activity for years? Building up criminal histories, waiting to swoop down on us all en masse, to be summarily found guilty and whisked off to freshly constructed prisons. I cruised on over to look for my future girlfriend.

Fortunately, I looked at the post again a bit later, when I was slightly less high, and noticed that none of the "Related Links" link to anything related. There are grammatical errors in the story that are uncharacteristic of CNN, and there's no author or date posted. In fact, it looks like someone took a random CNN story from CNN and substituted their own text. A hoax, a scam, a fake. Oh well, maybe the piracy Narcs are complete fucking idiots after all.

Thanks to alert warezmonkey Biznich the Gullible for sending in the post. Gosh, it's like you can't trust what you read on newsgroups anymore.

I decided that I needed to do a little checking into this whole PokeMon thing, cause I just don't understand it. So I went to www.pokemon.com, and tried to do a little research. Apparently this whole craze arose out of some stupid video game where you collect and "train" pokemon things by having them fight each other. From what I could get out of it, it is apparently the most mind-numbing experience ever, which must be why so many people are obsessed with it. Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of anime, but this PokeMon thing just doesn't do it for me. I guess I can understand the 8 year old kids that get into it, because it's a little kid craze. We were all there once, you probably remember collecting baseball cards or comic books or go-bots. But what's the deal with these fully grown people (you probably know someone who's addicted yourself) who are all crazy about this same fad? It's like Beanie Babies. It's a sickness. Get help people.

Saturday, December 04, 1999

The PenIsMightier Quake3 server is up and open for business! Well, sort of, it seems to hang after an hour or so and need rebooting, should be able to get that sewn up forthrightly. Go into the Quake3 Master List and take a look-see for Weishaupt's Wonderland. Then hope I don't show up, because I will beat you like a redheaded stepchild.

Goddammit! Normally, working a Saturday shift is the most boring part of this job. On a typical Saturday, I'd answer a tech call, then take a nap, then answer a call, then read for awhil, but oh no, not today! Today I have plenty of remote administration that I could be accomplishing, so that means everybody and their fucking grandmother has decided to call. And do they have simple, straightforward problems? A forgotten password, perhaps? no...

ME: Tech support, this is me, can I help you?
IDIOT: um, yeah, it says I have to click on next, but i'm clickin on next and nuthin's happening. Except, when I click on next it don't say next, but it has the name across where I'm clickin and it ain't doing anything.
ME: Looks like a billing problem. Have you paid this month? Yeah, call Accounting on Monday. *click*

ME: Tech support, this is a technician, must I help you? FUCKING IDIOT: Yeah, I just bought a brand new soft-encoded 56K modem to install on my vintage 1987 TRS-80, and for some reason it won't make a dial-up connection to Siberian VMS servers over my HAM radio connection. Since you're my ISP, I demand that you research this problem and find me a solution.
ME: You know, my boss sets that kind of connection up all the time, you'd better call him directly. *click*

ME: Tech support, how can I get rid of you?
COMPLETE FUCKING IDIOT: I'm trying to install your software, but the instructions are written for computer geniuses. It says I have to start by running Windows. How do I run Windows? Is that in the Start menu? ME: Yeah, you have to go to Start, Shut down, and then "Restart in DOS mode." Then, when you get to the DOS prompt, type "win" and hit enter.

By the end of the four hours, I'm usually desperate for something to keep me busy. Like, sometimes, I'll brew a big pot of coffee. Then, when it gets done, I brew the coffee I just made through a new set of coffee grounds. After the coffee has been "fortified" like this about five times, I leave it in the carafe with the heater turned on and take off for the weekend. Not only is this quintuple-brewed-java strong enough to peel the varnish off your credenza, but by Monday morning about two-thirds of it will have evaporated, and what's left makes Turkish coffee taste like mineral water. Believe me, one thimble-full has you bouncing off the walls like a spider monkey with Extasy on an IV drip. Ah well. One more hour to go. Mail me, you chuckleheads, break up my dreary existence and tell me what your coworkers do when you slip the afforementioned super-coffee into their morning espresso.

Your one stop Hippy Shop --Eod

In one of my dazed & confused episodes of surfing the web(looking for bongs, and other stupid things), I came across this Hippy Outlet. Actually its not called the Hippy Outlet, its called Crossroads. But anyways I got to thinking. You know how Hippies act "Hey man I'm non-conforming, I'm LIVING SIMPLY". Living Simply? I've never seen someone care so much about the type of clothes they wear, the cars they drive/bikes they ride, shoes they wear, just there overall appearance to the public. You'd never catch a Hippy driving a Honda Civic, they always have to drive old beater cars that end u getting less MPG and polluting the environment more, than a cheap, used Honda civic. Whats wrong with a Hona civic? So fucking what if it doesn't fit your image. Your about not conforming right? Your about saving the whales and the enviroment? Bullshit, your just another sap looking for a nitch. Also did you ever notice when you talk to a Hippy they are always schemeing on some way to make money? Seriously they are always like "Hey man we could tye-die THIS and sell it and after time we will just live off the money it makes and smoke pot while we get some friends to sell it for us". They always want to own some sort of company and then be set. Sounds like they are turning into the man. I was over at a friends house for alittle 4:20 and thier hippy friend walks in with the goods (and I'm not dissin' he brought the goods plus Hippys are coo) and he is going off telling stories how him and his friend he brought are gonna be rich after Year 2000. So we are listening to this guys crack pot story. Which goes like: Home dude wants to Rent a 747(I dunno I guess you can rent them at U-rent) and sell special trip tickets ($3000 a ticket) to the Bud Cup(whatever it's called) in Amsterdam. Well I dunno who is gonna rent this Hippy a 747 but I guess anything is possible. So he is plotting out the ideas for it. The ticket will include your plane trip, your ticket for the event, room, and the trip back. On the plane will be nothing but the people who bought the tickets so he plans to sell drugs on this plane also. He figures it will be a wonderful event with a bunch of people getting naked and dropping E. So his friend takes over in the rant and he leaves to the bathroom suddenly we hear "WOOOO HOOOO!" and he comes out and goes "I know maan, we will call it HEMP AIR, we can paint it on the side of the plane".. I'm sorry dude but at this point I just wanted to rain on this guys parade and let him know that his fucking crackpot idea can never happen. He just kept on going about painting a big ol leaf on the side of the jumbo jet. I was like nope not gonna happen... They won't even rent you the damn plane. I didn't just sat there and nodded, looked around and a lot of the people where stoked on the idea. He looked over and me and my friend and said "Hey man just watch we will get it done, who wants in?" No thanks I don't want in... In this time the dude also had a whole different story about starting a 24/hr 356 day rave that would never stop. He is gonna be a busy man flying around in his Hemp Airliner and running his non-stop rave. Well Hippy dude you got less than a month left.. So far no action. Course they do have some cool things. (Bongs, Pipes, Hookahs) that they sell at there hippy stores. And thats why I like them.

Friday, December 03, 1999

WTO! CWA! DVD? --Cyd @ 8:23pm

So i was sitting around on my couch last night, like any true american, watching the news about the wto riots/ protests, when i saw that some goombahs were running around like pansies in portland protesting the wto. i thought to myself: sheer genius! who needs to go to the site to speak their mind? so i started throwing shit around my living room, shouting such witty anti-wto slogans as "you guys suck!" and "try to cut down *this* tree," while pointing to my roommate's oak entertainment center. i then proceeded to start smashing windows and looting. i was able to stash my roommates girlie magazine collection and big screen tv in my room before he came home. i heard him coming down the stairs, so i tried to act like a peaceful protester, and started going on about my first amendment rights. he, being a strong arm of the man, realized that a riot was going on, and started to direct the digested luncheon chili gas at me, hoping to root me out with his stink bombs. damn the man! first he wants to cut down all of the forests, thenhe won't even let me keep his stinkin' tv! well this isn't the last protest for this concerned citizen, rest assured.

More than meets the AAIIIEEEEE --Weishaupt @ 5:23pm

Just for the kid in you, someone was nice enough to make a Transformers total conversion for Quake2. No flying robots yet, but being able to transform into a car and drive around is pretty badass. As TC's go, this one is high quality and easy to install. I'd be playing it right now, if it weren't so important to get the PenIs Quake3Arena official server running (watch for news on that tonight). Check out some screen shots or the TC file.

And hey Josh, we all hate USWorst, but at least they were nice enough to give us all 640Kb/s connections. Nowadays, if you sign up for 256K, you get 256K and that's it. Just think of all the transfer caps and upload limits and pornblockers and such they could use if they REALLY wanted to make our lives suck. Speaking of which, I read about an ISP recently that offers DSL for some rediculously low cost, but the catch is that you only get access to the 100 most "popular" sites on the net, or some silly bullshit like that. Anyone know where that was? Mail me, and I'll reward you with something. I haven't decided what yet, but it's sure to be just awful.

Fuck Uswest! --Josh @ 3:10 pm

You know what really pisses me off! Bad internet service! I fucking pay good money each month for DSL services provieded by our friends over at USWEST communications. And do you think that maybe they could fucking maintain their lines worth shit?? Well I guess not! All day yesterday my DSL was up and then down, up and then down! Today when I woke up I was tickled to see that they just decided to make up their minds and not let me connect at all! Of course I sat on the tech support line for a while with some dude I couldn't even understand because he couldn't talk straight. So now I am just sitting here waiting with a repair ticket number and not knowing when or if my connection will ever be restored. Fucking great for a connection thats advertised as a 24/7 connection What a load of shit! Oh I guess I should thank EOD for letting me use his connection so that I would write this hate letter. Thanks!

Cream of some young guy --eod @ 2:08 pm

I'd like to make this public post. I'd just like to say I'm sorry to my GF for eatting all the Mushu Chicken this morning and not saving any for her. Thank you, That is all.

iDsoftware Owns Me --Weishaupt @ 12:50pm

iDsoftware Owns Me Quake3Arena has finally been released. The regular version is selling for a modest $39.99 across this great nation, or for ten bucks extra you can get the spiffy tin. There are alot of nice FPS's out there, but this one will be the new standard. It rules my world "What? What?" I hear you cry. "Weishaupt actually plunked down actual = currency in an actual software store? Why, is his CD-RW broken?" Well, no, but I figure if anyone deserves my hard-earned cash, it's ID software. Plus, it has an online reg key like Half-Life, so it probably won't be cracked too soon. If you have any problems setting it up, any problems at all, mail Eod. He does tech support for a living and he'd be more than happy to help you with your sad little problems.

For that non-stop billionaire on the go --Weishaupt @ 11:10am

Well, finally. Some geeks have wired a Mercedes S-class for mobile ISDN and outfitted it with as many walnut-panelled TFT displays as they could muster. Looks pretty sweet. Maybe after we become incredibly rich from web advertising this site, we'll be able to sell ours for enough scratch to hook up the entire PenIs staff with 'em. Of course, at $300,000 per mobile-porno-center, it might take a couple months. Check out the groovy flash site or some pix.

Satan's New Film, Toy Story 2 --Josh @ 1:35am

This article came from our friends over at Landover Baptis Church: "A Toy Story 2 promotional 'Toy House,' where boys and girls are encouraged to play 'doctor' togeather in a dark, isolated, place. Notice the boy running from the girl who has been brainwashed into a sexed up, frenzied state!" Where the hell do people come up with this crazy shit!? Well besides being crazy I guess it's kinda funny. So! if you would like to read more about this just click here.

The Fevered work of Frankenstien --Eod @ 1:31am

I've been working away in the garden of eden today. I had to trim all the bushes around the yard, and then mow the lawn. Afer that I cleared out the thicket, thatched the lawn and I screwed the pooch. All in a day's work.

ICANN --Weishaupt @ 12:15am

What the hell is the deal with registering IP name? OK, the Feds didn't know what to do about the domain names, so they handed a monopoly to Network Solutions, probably because the company's name sounds so professional. But that was all gonna change, right? Gee, now it only costs seventy bucks for an automated script and some paperwork. Bloodsucking leeches. If the registrars are so strapped for cash, they should make domain squatters keep paying for names they can't manage to sell. Oh, but Internic charges all these poor registrars $70 US, there's nothing we can do, right? I had been under that impression, but under the current shared registration system, the department of Commerce gets to charge these yokels a whopping eighteen bucks. Here's the math:

Domains at $70 a pop
Domains at $18 a pop -
------------------------------------
Your own gay-ass website

Sounds like a scam. If you ask me, they oughta just hand the whole shebang over to the Association for Computing Machinery, or some other non-profit organization of professional geeks. Registering a website would cost fifty cents and take a minute and a half, and there would be about ten thousand top-level domain extensions. Maybe I could make some money if I register Bence.fat, or Stile.unusually.disturbing.porn.

Wednesday, December 02, 1999

Have you ever had one of those not so good days? --Josh @ 10:50pm

[MPEG #1] [MPEG #2]
     416k            677k

If you hold your face like that, it will stay that way for ever --Eod @ 8:45pm

My dad told me this when I left home.

She's a... Smmmaalll Wonder.. --Eod @ 8:13pm

You gotta remember the show "Small Wonder". You know it had the dad, the mom, the dorky brother(come on look at that kids face) and the robot daughter. Thats right the robot daughter, they spent all there time trying to hide the secret from the public and make her seem like a normal girl. Personally I think Star Trek ripped there Data idea from this show. Well course when you find this shit on the Internet you best back off. We got fans sites devoted to the show, people writing there own versions of the show, transcripts, pics, & videos. Look at Josh and his rebel posting colors.

Oooohh Ya the whole damn crew.

Stop Mumbling! --Josh @ 3:30pm

Anyone out there big Shockwave fans?? Well if there are, I have
a site for you. It's called "Mumbleboy" and this dude has some
fucking weird shit! But you know after watching a few of his
shockwaves it's kinda cool... Check it out if you can.

What a butthole! --Josh @ 8:50am

Man oh man! I was reading some news last night when I came across this article of this poor fellow who literly ripped open his ass! I couldn't fucking belive my eyes!  Shaun Gilbert explains his nightmare accident at Mt Hotham last season: "I had just started to get a bit of speed up when I took a spill. After coming to a stop I realised me pants were wedged right up my ass and it was hurting like fuck. To my shoch I looked back up the hill and noticed a branch sticking out of the snow. I landed on the branch so hard that it pulled my ass cheeks so wide apart that it had aplit my ass including a piece of me ring." But the fun didn't end there, after seven days in the hospital the doctor wouldn't let Shaun out until he proved his asshole was in perfect working order. "So with all the courage I could muster I squeezed on out and it hurt so much, I was on pain-killers for two days. After seeing the photos and the position I was in, I prayed the surgeon wasn't a poof"   Click here to see the picture of this! (This is a nasty one!)

Swarthy Wench of Enchantment --eod @ I wish it was 4:20pm but it is 8:15am

Oh yes also if you sent me an email.. Ummm ever, I never got it, we misdirected my penismightier.com domain but it should be fixed now. So anyone who sent me an email go back to sent items and resend it. Thanks..

Broken Axel of the Wonderwagon --eod @ I wish it was 4:20pm but it is 8:15am

Stupid stress... I was up til about 2:30am or so studying last night for my final today in Stats. So I finsh typing up my 1 page of notes in word in size 6 font and go to bed to crash.. So I lay down and think well I'll get about 6 hours of sleep. Nope I was wrong, I lay there and cannot fall asleep. Every little sound keeps waking me up. Que in, stupid heater, freeway traffic and the loudest damn train that dings its damn bell.. ding ding ding ...So I get up to take some melatonin and I glance at the clock, mmmmm nice it is 3:30am, I have to be up by 8:00am at the latest. Course I haven't even finished studying for this final yet, so that adds tot he stress I figure I went to bed around 4am, sleep for about 4 hours woke up went to the shower and wonderful I forgot about the crappy shitty stupid apartment I live in. If Someone has even so much as flushed there toilet within the hour the water pressure is all sorts of fucked up. I turn on the shower and lucky me a small drizzle comes out. I adjust the head unit and the best amount of water I can get to come out is pretty much a light mist, so I mist my body get out. My towel is wet from not hanging it up right yesterday, I look in the mirror and notice from lack of sleep I have that oh so catchy goth/heroin look. You know. I sure hope the rest of today is a bit smoother. After the final I have plans, BIG plans, I'm gonna study for my next final, all night!

If the rest of today doesn't smooth out and I don't have time to post here is my next post in advance:
"Fuck you world!"

On a lighter side of things Josh is gonna give me a ride to classes, so I don't have to ride the bus. (Which is slow all the time)

Tuesday, November 30, 1999

Enhancement of Enchantment --eod @ 11:33 pm

Shockwave pisses me off. Not because it isn't cool but because it fucking rocks my world. When I goto sites like the den or Newgrounds it does nothing but just make me pissed off, there shyt is so awesome. Not only is it cool but its orginal, and funny. I'm just amazed at what people at putting out now days with it. I still remember using lynx, gopher, and telnet to do all my internet work. None of this fancy web graphic's, you had 2 colors, Black and White (or Green and Black depending on your terminal) and you liked it. Maybe you where lucky and your telnet client supported ANSI and you saw some flashing colors or something.

Razor Blade Whirley Gig of Fun, Power and Excitement (+2 hit +4 dam) --eod @ 10:51 pm

Sorry the updates are a bit tame right now but I've been so busy with school (Its finals week right now). I'm leaving the house at 8am and getting home at 8pm. Coming home and I should be studying, cleaning or doing something but my energy is nil. Course tomarrow is another day. Ahh yes, another start, another wonderful day. Wait another day of WORK! I get to listen to people bitch about how "My Strawberry iMAC doesn't connect at 56k. Did you know it has a 56k modem in it, w hat kind of scam is this!?!" or

Customer: "Ya'll listen here, I work with computers all the time and I know something is wrong with your service."
Me:"Ummm, ok, What OS are you using?"
Customer: "Don't try and get all fast talking mumbo jumbo on me"
Me: "Just need to know what OS your using."
Customer: "Hmmmmmm" *long pause* "Ohh its blueberry"
Me: "Ahh 8.6 I take it you have an iMAC"

Now I'm not a mac smackie or anything, I just happen to support win3.1/95/98/nt and MacOS 7.1-9.0 at work.
So 8 hours of isp tech support, couple hours of traffic and then home to cram because thursday I've got a stats final and a big as accounting final on next tuesday. But I've been screwing around with some cgi scripting so we can make our posts a bit more uniform. I'll see what I can spit up before I crash tonight.

Rap Rape? --josh @ 1:39 am

You know I can't fucking belive some people.  I work for an establishment that sells CDs among other things.  And every day around our department fucking find wrapers off of jewl cases from cd's.  This means that some fuck head has mozied on in, unwraped a CD and walked out with it.  And you know what type of CD it always is?  Fucking RAP!  Not country or religious, Fucking RAP.  It really makes you think about some fucking people out there.  What if there is like a hidden message is most rap music that states "Go out and steal our next album?"  Who fucking knows.  I would like to see the day when we have a fucking string of Religous music stolen. HA! that would be clasic! But please, don't think that I am getting down on rap here, because I do like the music and I think that there are some really great artists out there!

Looks like a good role model huh?

Monday, November 29, 1999

Mun-e --eod @ 9:10 pm

When was the last time you checked to see if you have any unclaimed government money. Maybe you never picked up that final check from your last job you went beserker at. Check out find cash

They have a big ol database of people with unclaimed money.

Style... Profile... Denile... --jOsh @ 2:21 am

Yes indeed! it's pretty amazing how well you feel after puttin back a couple
beers, huh? Fuck! I really hate work sometimes! When you have a job that
deals with customer serivce all day (like mine!) you really begin to realize
how most wars are started. STUPID FUCKING PEOPLE! or in other words
IGNORANCE! What a powerful word huh? I think it's the root of most of this
countries problems. I'll tell yeah, a good recipe for death is plain and simple
good old fashion American freedom and ignorace!......... hmmm I realy think I
pass out now...

Sunday, November 28, 1999

2 inch denture screws --eod @ 11:22 am

Sometimes life has hidden pleasures.

Summertime fun --eod @ 11:52 pm

What I did over summer vacation.

Saturday, November 27, 1999

The Titanic? --josh @ 11:52 pm

This has gotta make you think...

The Vortex --eod @ 11:51 pm
Sorry I know not many of you are into cars BUT, this is the dopest site around.
Its got all your VW and Audi information one could handle.

(2o6)PRi-VATE --eod @ 2:29 pm
From:  Slashdot

Since the day the Internet became popular and the good old BBS's faded into the back ground, I myself have had a hard time finding the same kind of active community. Sure there's Slashdot, BugTraq, and IRC, but for whatever reason it seems people remain private and keep to themselves without a who's online option, and a message feature. I do see other Slashdot members posting often, but there are allot more people that read the articles and have opinions that remain in the background. I guess my question is if anyone has found the same kind of thing as the old BBS's?"

Hell ya BBS's rocked. 2400 baud dial up and some fat old guy sysop. Thanking your lucky stars that the line wasn't busy on that rocking 2 line BBS. Logging in checking your mail. Playing some Trade Wars, Leech, Pimp Wars, The Pit and calling that entainment. Thats all I gotta say about it. BBS vs Internet.. BBS wins, you can't compete with complete ansi graphics. =)

But the community feel did rock, the only thing comparable on the internet are telnet bbs's and mush sites. Which kinda blow.

How about a penismightier bbs? I could bust my 2400 baud hayes modem and run renegade or vision-x and be set to go.

You can read it in full here. Friday, November 26, 1999

How did gates become the richest man? --Eod @ 10:45 pm
Everytime I see this I fawking laugh

Celica vs Prelude --Zack @ 10:45 pm
I was driving with my GF the other day, coming up Sandy Blvd. towards downtown Portland. I stopped behind a tricked out looking, red, late model Integra at the light on 82nd. It was a VTEC (or at least it thought it was), with a shogun style spoiler, aftermarket exhaust, slammed to the ground, with a body kit, and to top it all off, a fire extinguisher up in the window. This guy thought he was a racer, no question. When the light turned green he jumped off the line. So I rolled up next to him at the next light, and after getting the go ahead from my GF, I looked over and revved my engine to let him know my intentions. He revved his engine up too so I gripped the steering wheel with my left hand, grabbed my shifter tight and waited for the light to turn. When it did I dropped the clutch and left about ten pounds of tire as I ripped across the intersection. I was sliding to the right a little since I was peeling so hard, but by the time I hit the other side of the intersection (somewhere in the middle of second gear) my tires gripped and I took off like a rocket. He never even caught my rear bumper. I was shaking for about ten minutes with the adreanline rush. Nothing like that feeling. I love street racing.

Bills, Bills, Bills, Can't pay my Automobills --Eod @ 9:10 pm
Alladvantage pays the bills. Well my friend at work recieved his first check from alladvantage
for 27 bucks. Pretty swanky for popping a banner up on the browser at work. I'm currently up to 36 dollars
so I figure my check should be at the end of this month.

To everyone who just laughed it off. Come on and sign up under my name and find your riches.

http://www.alladvantage.com/go.asp?refid=eok-856

Peephole into the Net --Eod @ 9:10 pm
Webcrawler Search Voyeur - See the keywords that people type into the Webcrawler search engine, in realtime as they are typed.

Good ol' things like "Please tell me how large canada is" and "teens+girls+hair" or "I need Command and Conquer please"

The Sky is Falling! --Eod @ 8:50 pm
Found this on wired.com.

Mike Zieper wanted to tap into current passions with his video art. To do it, he made a grainy, gray tape in which a faceless narrator prepares his soldiers to unleash a government-sponsored riot in Times Square at midnight 2000.

Wonderful right? Someone gets to show off there art and skills and have an audience. Oh ya don't forget we live in the age of mass stupidity.

This FBI agent called," said Zieper. "He said, 'There are a lot of people planning to vacation in New York this year, a lot of them are coming to your site and they're getting scared.

So the FBI steps in, this video is less believeable than Blair Witch. After the government comes and bullies the guy around and forces his ISP to drop him, his video is spread around even more. Heheh oops... If stupid people believe stupid things then fuck em. Fucking sheep. =)

So to stick one to the man. Here is the video.

Thursday, November 26, 1999

Good ol' Thiruvananthapuram -- Zack @ 5:10 pm
According to our friends at CNN.com India has produced a rocket that uses a "cryogenic engine." The engine uses liquid hydrogen, and liquid oxygen and operates at a low temperature. " 'It is more powerful that any international rival in its category,' Gnanagandhi told The Associated Press by telephone from the southern coastal city of Thiruvananthapuram, where his Liquid Propulsion Systems Center is based. " With this as a stunning new possibility in rocket technology, the real question is now how do you pronounce Gnanagandhi and Thiruvananthapuram?

Atleast the small coffee is free. -- Zack @ 4:05 pm
So it's Thanksgiving Day again. Time to give thanks. I'm so glad to be here at work. With the people I love, and the vending machine food. I guess you could say I'm being a bit sarcastic, but at least I'm getting paid. It's just another excuse to overindulge and feel bloated anyways. So here I sit, helping the seething masses of new technicians answer calls. Waiting for the company to bring me turkey, which should have been here an hour ago. Feeling like a sucker. Oh well. Just another day in the life.

Wensday, November 24, 1999

clutch, gas, beep, gas, clutch, honk, honk -- eod @ 7:09 pm
CNN's list of worst traffic areas.

1. Los Angeles, Interstate 405 at I-10.
2. Houston, U.S. 59 at I-610.
3. Seattle, I-5 at I-90.
4. Boston, I-93 Central Artery downtown at U.S. 1 known as the "Big Dig." ("An $11.6 billion federal highway project, called the "Big Dig," is under way to put the main north-south highway passing through Boston underground.)
5. Washington, D.C./Maryland, I-495 at I-270

The complete list is here
I guess this kinda settled the debate between me and my girlfriend about which city (portland or seattle) had worst traffic problems.
I lost. =(

Monday, November 22, 1999

I'm a Genie in a bottle baby. -- eod @ 7:52 pm
Looks like the makers of the bottled cigarette "Break in case of Emergency" have expanded there demographic market.

For those late night cravings
I dunno who the dude is, I don't think he is part of the package but this could be a great gift for cyberhunk Bence.

21 worn out pairs of shoes -- eod @ 7:42 pm
Spoke to this guy a couple days ago at work. This has to be about the first interesting thing thats happened at work. Check out his webpage, he was the first man to successfully walk around the world. The Earthwalker Website - The Story

My Turn to Put out some shit. -- mike @ 1:59:04 PM Yeah, ok so I'm supposed to help write for this site. These two guys Josh and Eod think just because they're geeks they're all supperiour and crap. Well I got somethin' to say about that. . . Just because I can't get myself to sit in front of the computer for more than an hour doesn't mean I don't care about it. I think its just when I look around on the web or something I just start to think hey rather than look at some guy's sorry ass web site about all the things he's done, why am I not out there doing that kinda shit. Its kinda like Kip Kinkle. Kip sat at home for years thinking about just shooting up the school, until one day he had an epiphany the voices in his head finaly created some coherent sentences and he just up and did what they told him. I have to say its a good thing that guys like Kip are in limited supply. Espeacially with a name like Kip its just an easy target and then you go and add a last name like Kinkel and man, of course all the kids in school are gonna think he's fuckin' weird. There was this kid Barney in my middle school, and we fucked with him every day and called him things like: Carney, Little Carney Roo, Bitch, Fagg ect... But instead of shooting people Litte Carney Roo just cried a lot. Like everyday. Eventually he just went to another school where the kids didn't know that he used to cry everyday on the first day of school all the way through the sixth grade. What the hell is my point you might be asking (if you're still reading this)? Well its this if you have a fucked up name just change schools. The beauty of this is some other kid is the class stooge and you can just sort of manipulate your name for awhile so that it doesn't sound so easy to start fuckin' with you, and since you're no longer the class stooge you might even be thought of as cool. If they figure you out later don't worry its too late they have already excepted your lame ass.

Our friend the Kipster

Atleast its not sleep walking -- eod @ 2:42 am
Well after a night of tinkering a bit with the html and finshing up some school stuff I'm ready
for bed. My gf had gone to bed about 2 hours beforeI did, so she was sound asleep. For some
reason when I come into bed I normally bug her and start talking about this or that. Sometimes
she will respond and sometimes she'll tell me to shut up. Well tonight I was rambling on about finals
and just silence. Well fine thats acceptable she has been sleeping for about 2 hours now. So I'm laying
there for about 10 mins watching cars go by on the freeway and suddenly I hear her start talking. It almost
sounds like she is finally responding to me but of course 10 mins has passed. A slight bit muffled and half
formed sentences, I catch on she is still sleeping. I'm laying here listening to her talk and I'm beginning
to get creeped out. I mean what do you do? Its awfully wierd to hear someone laying next to you talking in
there sleep. (She is addressing me and it seems possibly someone else at this point) Since I'm all creeped out
I get up and come write this.

I'm also noticing now how ugly our text section is. I need to slap a new font in this mutha fawkin house

y2k- Yes 2 kia? -- eod @ 1:02 am
I was lucky enough to catch the Y2K movie on NBC tonight. Boy was I lucky, I kept waiting for something
eventful to happen. Something more than the shitty power plant and johnny redneck. But nothing... Imagine
being a major network and having a chance to make a movie about y2k and just making a horrible piece
of hyped up crap. Come on this network has money & power, they can influence people. Why not spend alittle
more than 5 mins and make something decent? The only thing they successfully did was scare up people just in time
for good ol y2k, so now everyone will fret and worry and cause fucking traffic and shoot at me and just cause trouble.
Then the news follows the movie and says a recent poll shows 15% of the people feel the world will end this new year.
I mean come on people.. Really.. The whole world?
For christ sake.

Thinking about the Site.. -- josh @ 12:23:14 AM
Fuck, just got off of work and I am now sitting here thinking about what new ideas we can put into the site.
If we accutally have anyone visiting already, please!  GOD please!  don't write us off! Within the next couple
weeks I should be getting a webcam up so you people can look at my smiling face!   Besides my lovely face, we
will have our trusty friend Mike's articles on what he thinks of things.   Kind of like Any Rooney, except not
quite that old.  Anyways,  I hate writing here,  so I am gonna go now,  but I am sure everyone will hear and maybe
see alot more of me in the future. L8tr!

PS. Check out the site regulary for new shit!  Who knows,  maybe your sorry ass life story will be our feature
story.  If you don't check back you'll never know!